Being a mother of daughters..... raising Feminists..the right kind!

So I have two beautiful daughters, Rosie and Ava. Some mothers are gifted with children that have the same temperaments or similar personalities, which is lovely. My two girlies could not be more different from one another, which is a complete blessing and curse all in one. But guess what peeps.....I am raising feminists...oh no...you are thinking to yourself....she is actually admitting she is raising feminists!

The Merriam-Webster dictionary states

Full Definition of FEMINISM

1

:  the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 

2

:  organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests

So YES I am raising feminists....strong females that will be leaders and role models in a society that so badly needs real feminists!!!

Females that do not want to be like men...but are proud of being females and their feminine qualities. After all ladies, we make babies and men will never be able to do that! Boom!

As of right now my Rosie wants to be a nurse like her Aunt and/or Joan of Arc...well since Joan of Arc died at the old age of 19 and was burden at the stake, I am hoping that the nurse thing works out. But I am proud that she has pick role models/real feminists that are strong females. Females that wanted to make a difference in the world, leaders that had many failings but kept going and made a difference in society. Someone once said. "Society is as good as its women." Well ladies, time to woman up! 

Future Goofballs, Strongs Leaders and always my Daughters.

My Ava's role models/real feminists are Nana (my mom), Coco Chanel, (we watched a movie about her), and her piano teacher Mary Kate. If you only knew my mom, you would understand, she is the greatest leader I know. She leads with love...never anything else.  Coco Chanel, well born leader of fashion, enough said. As for Mary Kate the piano teacher, she is teaching Ava to be a leader through their love of music.

They are my heart.

So thanks a lot feminists of the 60s... you took off your bras, made femininity about having sex with the pill....which if you haven't realized yet...it is letting men have sex with you with no consequences... not just a baby, but no true connection, no anything of substances.... and feminists of the 60s you wanted to get equal wages to men...well I agree that it should be that way! However over 50 years later we are still fighting that battle.

Where are the Real Feminists that fight for women rights, their children, their families!!!!

On a final note, I am trying to be a Real Feminist, an example to my daughters and my son of what a true woman is. 

• I wear heels, dresses, jeans, and even "mom uniform- black yoga pants with the solid top"
• I can shoot a duck, clean it, and cook it in an amazing orange sauce
• I love dancing in the kitchen with my kids, drinking wine, and reading anything about the WWII
• I love to have parties and socialize for fun or for a passionate charities.
• I love being a mother, it is and will be my greatest accomplishment!
• I will be a leader to my children and help them achieve their goals.

My role models are Mary Magdalene- she made mistakes but got it right in the end, Rose Seitz- a woman that taught me to find love in everything, and another lovely woman named Mary- she is graceful leader, who taught me to always keep trying and the past is the past. 

So come on ladies, will you be a real feminists or keep letting other women determine your fate. 

This blog is dedicated the my role models and the Real feminists, past, present and future! Will you choose to make a difference while owning your femininity! Time to woman up!

Have a lovely day,

Katy

Please, Moms! It's Not A Competition - It's Life.

This past Monday, I was on The Morning Blend with another blogger, Amber from Milwaukee by Storm, and we were discussing the choices women make being stay-at-home moms vs. working moms with Molly Fay and Tiffany Ogle. This conversation stemmed from an article written by a mom who had chosen to stay home with her children and later regretted that decision because of her loss of time, income, and advancement in her field. It was a little difficult to relate to this woman in the sense that she felt her decision, made so many decades prior when her children were young, was the wrong decision. First of all, I have never been a person who dwells on regrets or past decisions, whether they were good or bad, because honestly, I cannot go back and change those choices. Second of all, I don’t view my job as a mom as a “hobby” (or something I just “wanted” to do, quoted by Lisa Endlich Heffernan), but as a vocation that I have chosen to accept and love through all the ups and downs. It’s through those ups and downs that I learn many lessons and in the end my goal by staying home is to raise morally good, honest, and up-standing citizens. This is why I view motherhood as a vocation, no matter whether you stay home or work, because it is our duty to raise not only our children, but to teach them how to eventually function in this world as adults when we are no longer here. For me, I believe it is in my best interest and the best interest of my family to stay home when the children are young and most needy, but this doesn’t work for everyone.

Now I am not saying that all women are meant to stay home with their children, but as moms (and as society in general) we need to learn that there shouldn’t be a competition with stones cast towards working moms vs. moms who stay home. The author of the article stated that she felt her decision to stay home with her children for so many years had “let down” countless women who had fostered the feminist movement in those generations prior towards breaking that glass ceiling. I don’t feel like I have “let down” any women from previous generations by choosing to stay home. I am appreciative for their fight to bring women into the workplace, but I also don’t think they would be happy knowing that we (as women) have pushed ourselves into a corner that no longer gives us the opportunity or dignity to stay home without feeling like a failure and having regrets. We have turned their social battle into a battle between mothers, mothers who work vs. mothers who stay home, and this is quite sad. The worst part is that us, as women, have created this battle amongst ourselves. It isn’t the men to blame, it is the women. Yes, those are strong words, but it is the truth. We, as women, have guilted ourselves about everything instead of making a choice, living with that choice, and learning to love our vocation no matter what it is, whether single, married, staying home, or being a working mom. 

There shouldn’t be categories or labels amongst us, we are all women, trying to do our best in this crazy world to succeed. The beauty of it all, is that we all have different definitions of success and we need to accept this philosophy. Some people view success in the terms of materialism, monetary gain, or personal achievement. While others view success upon family life, community involvement, and an interior personal growth without pomp and circumstance. Or you might view all of these as successful goals. Whatever your definition of success may be, it shouldn’t be questioned by others, especially if they don’t understand it. A woman may feel successful as she advances in her career and thereby receives a better pay check, but another woman may view her success based on her child's school play or having a home-cooked meal every night for a month, but none of these circumstances should be down-played, because they are crucial goals towards the development and harmony of society. We cannot all be successful in exactly the same way, just like we don’t all have the same God-given talents, which is the beauty and dignity of the human race.

I apologize for this ramble, but I do feel passionately about this topic, especially since I have seen women on both sides struggle with feelings of guilt, failure, lack of self-worth, and being overwhelmed in keeping up with societal expectations. It's time that we as women, especially moms, learn to appreciate each other through our faults and through our talents. We are all in this together, working tirelessly for our families, while trying to keep afloat. Instead of making this a competition between moms who work and moms who stay home, let's support each other through thick and thin, because we all are working to raise the next generation!

The amazing Amber from milwaukeebystorm.com. 

One of the guest bloggers hosting the Milwaukee Mommas' Night Out with Elm Grove Art!

Join us for a Milwaukee Mommas' Night Out at Elm Grove Art!

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Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.

Not only is the title of this blog a great movie with Sophia Loren (love her) but it is also my kiddos! …cue the confused look on your face. 

Oh by the way this is a great time to go get a cup of coffee and something yummy to eat

I have three children, Cliff, Rosie and Ava and Today, Tomorrow and Yesterday describe my kids personalities.

Cliff is my oldest. At the old age of eight, he is my "Yesterday" personality. He brings up memories all the time, whether it was a toy he use to play with, a holiday party or even a book I read to him years ago. He also loves history, sometimes I wonder if he was born in the wrong generation? He is my old soul kid…don’t get me wrong he loves all the technical advances of today..I actually had to hide the Wii from him. He takes his role as the only male in the house very seriously….but loves it. Yesterday he told his sisters that he deserved more respect and then proceeded to try and conceive me that HE needed a man cave…keep dreaming kid.

My Cliff

Rosie is my middle child. She is seven going on twenty-six. She is a tiny version of myself when I was her age, she lives for tomorrow. So as my “Tomorrow" personality she is always asking…What are we doing tomorrow? She obviously needs to know so she can fill out her social calendar… She loves life and everything in it, the good the bad, the crazy and the ugly. If it is there, Rosie will love it. She only sees the good in people and if people let her down, she will forget and always give them another chance. She is my eternal optimist.

My Rosie

Ava is my baby that only wants today. She lives each and everyday to the fullest, she gives it her all. So as my "Today" personality she is also the brain of the family. I feel like her head is always calculating and evaluating all the situations she is in. Whether she is at the playground playing with her friends, or reading with me at home…she wants to experience it to the utmost. At five years old, she analyses everything and everyone…sometime to a fault. Lots of questions…most she usually answers herself.

As I said before I am single mom raising three kids….but sometimes I think they are raising me. What do I mean? Take a moment to see the world through your children’s eyes…..they see possibilities, they see fun and silliness, they see happiness. Some say they see this because they are naive…true…but I think they see the truth, and we adults have become so jaded with hardships of life that we do not always see it. There is an abundance of good in the world…just look through your children's eyes.

On a silly note….. my kids are no angels… they drive me crazy too and sometimes even gang up on me to the point I have to say out loud to myself… “I am the adult I am in charge!"… wait I am in charge???… I think I am in charge… no no no I am defiantly in charge.

Have the loveliest of days or at least attempt too,

Katy

Life is full of Glitter and Bubbles - A Reflection of Childhood.

Every job has multiple ups and downs, stressful moments and moments of excitement, but I would have to say that motherhood is probably one of those jobs with the most unpredictable situations. These aren't just those random days once a month or once a week that take us off guard, these highs and lows occur everyday! There is something to be said about methodical repetition as a mother of little ones. No matter how much we attempt to create "structure", there is always something that hampers that "routine". Do you what to know what creates those diversions? It's the glitters and bubbles of life, our little kiddos.

Nothing in life is more precious and worth working so hard for each day than our children, those pieces of glitter and floating bubbles that are beautiful in their own right, but also extremely difficult to restrain and control. After all, they are children... They must be taught this restraint through love and example. I'm not saying that children should be undisciplined. I am only saying that instead of expecting our little toddlers to become exemplary citizens within a day, a week, or even a year, we need to teach those pieces of glitter and floating bubbles (who have their own personalities and God-given temperaments) with our unconditional love and respect first. At one time, we were sparkling glitter or a floating bubble in our parents' lives creating just as much havoc. What helped our parents get through those tough stages? It was our smiling and silly faces, our kisses and hugs, and those precious moments that made up for the stressful ones. For everyday that we feel overwhelmed, we only need to stop and enjoy those little ones who have become our life, our work, and our loves.

My youngest son, who is 20 months old, is beginning to repeat words, and one of his favorites is "bubble". Maybe it's partly because he loves bubble baths or that he gets a reaction from me because it's so cute in his high-pitched toddler voice. I can't help but smile when he says this word. A word so simple, but so sweet and innocent - a reflection of childhood. That 20 month old is one of the floating bubbles in my life, and always brightens my days through his silly and innocent ways.

Instead of trying to restrain or complain about those pieces of glitter and floating bubbles, it's time that we let our children be children. If we are the good examples, through our love and joy, and create an environment of structure, those little ones will develop the same life skills without losing their personalities, because who doesn't smile when they see glitter and bubbles?

Glitter DIY Project

My daughter requested a more "girly" trick or treat basket. What better way to make it girly than with pink and gold glitter, and a little bit of leopard print!

Girly Glitter

A perfect paper mache cauldron from the craft store.

Lightly sprayed white before Mod Podge and glitter applied.

The final touch: a cheetah print "duck tape" wrapped handle.

...and it begins

.....My whole lIfe I have wanted to be a mom…seriously my whole life! From the age of four I was mothering (well maybe bossing) all my friends and planning how many kids I was going to have. At the age of seven I decided that ten was the number. I was going to have ten children. I did not care how many boys or girls, I just wanted a love filled crazy big family. Then by the age of eighteen I decided I want ten and then I would adopt at least five more….. but wait why stop there? By the age of twenty I knew I wanted to start an orphanage. Then I could love a ton of kids. During this whole time I was praying like crazy for many children….never once did I think or pray for a husband. I just thought I would get married and my husband would want as many kids as me and we would live happily ever after. Blahahahaha!!!!! and a few more hahas!

 Well thanks Disney for making me believe all my dreams can come true…. My Prince Charming/husband came along when I was twenty-one and guess what? He DID want a load of children, he was loving, caring and masculine, (because I can not stand wimpy men) but he had a big secret…..no he was not a woman…..no he did not cheat one me……the big secret was he had a drug addiction. Yep, call me dumb, stupid or whatever, but I married a full blown drug addict. Did I know he was when a drug addict when we got married?….nope.. I had some red flags when dating but nothing huge.

Sooooo to make a super extreme sad story short….I divorced him. Mainly to keep our three beautiful children safe. By no means is this a post to bash drug addicts…it is a horrible sickness that consumes the person and everyone around that person.

Rosie, Ava and Cliff

Well now what… I am a single mom….this was not the plan.

So after a pity feast, a few screaming in pillow moments and an intense pep talk in the mirror, I decided...I got this. I am a single mom and I am going to be proud of it. I will be both mom and dad to my awesome kids and you know what.. we are all doing great!

My kids are my everything, I am a mom first but I am an entrepreneur too. I love business, starting them, selling them, watching them grow. I have been a professional event planner, author of Provocative Manners, owner of the Aircut and now a co-owner to Elm Grove Art. My children are my purpose in life, business is my escape, and people are my hobby. Life is to short not to have fun! So we live it up each day!

Rosie singing, Cliff reading out loud and Ava tapping dancing!

I was brought up with the mentality, God first, family second, and friends third… and that is how I live happily.

On a final note, I am writing this blog with my best friend…yes I am 31 years old and I sound like a 5 yr old…”best friend." But that is what she is… Danielle and I have know each other for over ten years but she became my best friend through my divorce…she kept me sane, no actually she slapped me out of my pity feast. Someone once said, “hard times reveal true friends.” Well she is the truest friend I have ever had. 

Selfie time...notice I do not know were to look, blahaha!

I am writing this blog in hopes that other single moms can realize…we can do it all! We can raise our children wonderfully, have happy homes and have careers that we love too. It is a challenge but I am all in!!!

Have the loveliest of days.

Kate

Today is the Day!

Everyday is a day for new beginnings. A day to start a new adventure. Well, today is the day that Katy and I are beginning another new adventure, and that new wild ride is the start of our blog, Kate and Danielle! This year has definitely been a year for new beginnings, the start of phases in life for both of us together as friends, business partners, and on our own personal levels. This mix of ups and downs, sideways hurdles, and top over bottom turn-overs has warranted the start of this blog. A place where we can write not only as business owners and partners, but a place where we can come mostly as friends, mothers and women to express our concerns, our love for life, our passion for business, and our children!

@MeganRammingerPhotography

@MichelleCascioPhotography

For those of you who don't know me, my sweet husband and I are expecting baby #4 in the next couple weeks. Yes, our lives are a bit crazy right now, but in the best way possible. I have been extremely blessed with a man who is manly in every sense of the word, knows how to care for our family, patiently loves our children, and adores me though all my faults (and yes, I have a lot of them). Our dear daughter, the oldest, is such a huge help and loves to be right in the middle of planning, organizing, and sometimes bossing the other boys around. The boys, well they are boys. They are full of life, energy, with the desire to explore, climb, play in the dirt, and just be boys, which is such a joy to watch them approach life much differently than their sister. 

#1 and #3

After working a full-time legal job, my husband and I decided it was best for our family that I stay home after the birth of our first child. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made, after marrying dear hubby, of course! :) Being a stay-at-home mom isn't an easy job, nor is it the toughest one either, just like many others, it has challenges, but I have found throughout the years that these challenges are extremely rewarding, more than I could've ever imagined. I find new hurdles and yet new rewards each day from my vocation and I wouldn't ask for anything different!

Katy (best friend and business partner) and I have always loved a new challenge and have definitely had our fair share, even sometimes seeking them out ourselves...don't ask! We have accomplished a lot over the years, including writing a book, and having it published in 2013 (Provocative Manners: The Sauce of Life), planning events together (she's the event planner and I have owned a specialty floral company for 9 years), organizing moms groups, and this year opening an art studio in the Milwaukee Metro area, but most importantly we have become the dearest of friends. I view her as the sister I never had and I have been most fortunate that our paths crossed just at the right time. We compliment each other extremely well, to the point where most people don't understand it. Katy has become a friend who I can count on through thick or thin, not only in the everyday happiness and struggles of life, but someone who has every bit of my best interest at heart. 

I apologize, this post has become much longer than I anticipated, but at least I filled it with fun pictures, right? I truly hope you follow us as Katy and I pave the way through our busy lives as mothers and business women. I hope to keep it light-hearted, but also touch on topics close to many of us as wives, mothers, friends, career women, and how to get through this beautiful world as gifted human beings. Follow us, as we juggle and love our lives each week, just like all women dreaming, searching, and living through those everyday adventures!

Facts About Me!

Favorite Things:

My husband and children (the loves of my life), bedtime for the little ones and spending quality time with my husband (sans kids), warm cups of coffee (yes, I may have an addiction), old movies (especially musicals, I can't get enough of Easter Parade or Singing in the Rain), sushi, spicy Portuguese dishes, all sweets (well, I guess I am a food lover!), and the ability to help others in need.

Pet Peeves:

Having to stop for gas (I know, I know, this can't be helped), looking for lost soccer gear and dance shoes (I give up!), re-folding the same basket of clothes for a 2nd or 3rd time in a day), chewing with one's mouth open (I sound like a broken record at the dinner table with the kids), chipped nail polish, and lack of common-sense.

First Celebrity Crush:

Fred Astaire, Cary Grant, and Gregory Peck! What can I say, I have a thing for the oldies but the goodies?

Go-To Drink:

Red wine (specifically a fabulous Pinot Noir) or Tequila Sunrise for cocktails.

Favorite Books:

Hands-down Pride & Prejudice, I'm a huge Jane Austen fan in every sense of the word. After that, I have a long list, way too long to list now. A short list would include anything written by Wilkie Collins, Charles Dickens, Margaret Atwood, Cecila Ahern, Willa Cather, and Agatha Christie.

Welcome to the Kate and Danielle Blog