It's very hard for me not to plan. I am a planner by nature with my overly A-type personality. I like lists, upon lists, upon lists, and I enjoy completing each task only to cross it off the list. But if I have learned one thing from being a mother, it is the appreciation for time. In college I was always looking towards my five year plan, until my five year plan changed and I created a new five year plan. Every interview after college posed this question to me, but there were many times when it seemed unrealistic. Even my "go-getter" personality questioned our need to continually plan, instead of living in the moment. But I assumed, my apprehension was just a fear of not completing my proposed five year plan.
Now that I have a family with a wonderful husband and four little blessings, there is no need for a five year plan. Yes, we plan for a loving home for the children, and to provide good schooling, but overall, we have no idea where we will be in five years. Each and every day is a gift. Where I am today, is not where I was last year or anywhere I expected to be. Last year at this time, I had a newborn baby and was suffering with postpartum depression. By the grace of God, a supportive husband, the love of my children, and an amazing friend, I got through it and learned many lessons in the process. I had never expected that within a year we would sell our home and be in the process of building a new home to fit our growing family. Life definitely throws us curve balls, but this is what I have learned to accept and also love. I have found comfort in knowing that I don't have control of each and every aspect of my life - interestingly enough, this gives me consolation. Each day brings new joys and new challenges, but I am blessed to have another day with my family and friends and to accept each season of my life.
So for all of you who already decorated for Christmas and are focusing on the month of December. Yes, there are lights already lights up in our neighborhood. I refuse to fall in with the norms of society, I will be the contrarian. November is the month where I can enjoy these last remnants of fall weather, a time when my children can still play outside without having to bundle up in multiple layers, a time when I can enjoy my pumpkin spice latte (don't ruin this for me, people), a time for me to prepare for the season of Advent that is about to come before Christmas, and a time for me to enjoy each day as a wife, a mother, a friend, and a fighter, because I refuse to look too far into the future. As we all know, none of us can predict the outcome. So let's be like out dear, sweet children and enjoy the moments, because they are much shorter than we realize, especially if we are always preparing for the next best thing. What will be left if the next best thing never comes?
Deal. let's enjoy the moment <3
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you suffered from post partum depression! Thanks for the reminders to enjoy our blessings, especially our husbands and children!
ReplyDeleteLove this! I am a type A girl too, so I know the whole OCD planning thing too well.
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