I Am Living the American Dream

No matter what any celebrity, politician, or media source may want me to believe, I truly am living the American Dream. This might not be the same dream my grandparents sought after or even the dream from the Baby Boomers Generation, but this is my dream. Not everyone's dream is the same, and this is what makes America great. Unfortunately, many Americans are searching for a superficial dream. At one time, parents worked to create a better life for their children. A life where their children would develop an understanding of moral and natural law. A life where their children would glow with pride at the sight of the American Flag - true model citizens.  Those dreams didn't involve new sports cars, designer clothing, and countless extracurricular sports activities. Parents were not so much worried about raising sensitive toddlers, rather their goal was to raise independent, strong, and responsible adults for the good of society.

Now that the "American Dream" has changed to unrealistic proportions, people automatically assume that it is dead, but this is far from the truth. The concepts of beauty and truth have become clouded to most of society. Instead of searching for everlasting forms of happiness, many people search for fleeting moments of happiness, whether that's a new car, the latest IPhone, a designer pair of shoes, giving into the Starbucks addiction, overnight celebrity status, laying around on a couch taking selfies,or fulling a personal void of loneliness with extravagant vacations. There is nothing wrong with these luxuries, as long as they are accepted in moderation. Our lives are not meant to be one long vacation. To earn these vacations and overpriced coffees, we must be willing to work for them.  If you believe these items fulfill your American Dream, then you are a bit misguided. It will be very difficult to find true happiness and inner peace with these destructible goods - you will never have enough.

If we begin to live like generations past, we will find the American Dream. My husband and I are living our American Dream. Is life perfect? Absolutely not, but who's life is? Instead of living for ourselves, we are living for our children. Family is what matters. We can't take any of these items with us when we die, but we can leave bits of ourselves with our children. Small precious memories that they can pass on to their children. Memories of having a water balloon fight in summer, growing a garden together, baking cookies, and writing thank you letters for birthday presents - these are small pieces of a bigger puzzle. Children will lose count of how many presents they open or how many shopping trips they make take, but they will never forget memories. This to me is the American Dream.

I am blessed with a beautiful life. After graduating from college and then working as a Paralegal, I stayed home after my husband and I had baby #1. What an amazing opportunity I was given. During that same time I also owned and operated three small businesses, wrote and had my first book published with my best friend, all while raising my children at home. Even through all those great experiences, I realized that I only wanted to be home with the little ones. I wanted my children to become model citizens, who work to better this beautiful country not only for themselves, but for everyone and for future generations. I am living my American Dream.

Not all of us have the same dream. Some Americans work extremely hard each day to further a corporate career, or run a small business, while others are striving to make ends meet at a minimum wage job. No matter or position in life, we can all strive for the American Dream. Very few women around the world are given any of those opportunities, they are trying to survive each day by getting food on the table for their family. We have been blessed with so much in America, but if our dream has become superficial and based upon personal achievements and money, then we are destined for failure, because true and everlasting happiness can never be bought. The beauty of the American Dream lies in our hearts. We choose what paths to follow, and we must live with those consequences. Don't waste a precious moment. Life is too short. Start creating your American Dream!

Schedules, Childhood, & Newborns

It has been a busy week at our house, with the birth of Baby #4. We brought him home to the other Little Ones, and began adjusting our lives around his schedule. Perfect example, this post was planned to go up on Thursday and here we are days later...  It is to be expected, since the schedule of a newborn is never in line with that of the parents or siblings. It's amazing how such a little person can take control of the entire household just with his cries. Isn't it a beautiful thing that a baby can command a room? Beautiful and tiring!

When I was pregnant with Baby #1, everyone had an opinion on how to get that little bundle of joy on a strict schedule. Whether it was a feeding schedule, a diaper changing schedule, or a sleep schedule. The funny thing is that I never really cared to hear about these schedules, partly because I'm super stubborn and I don't want other people to tell me what to do, but mostly because I knew these schedules wouldn't last past the first few weeks. (Even that is probably a stretch). It just seemed common sense to me that babies will eat when they are hungry, poop when needed, and sleep when they are tired, just like adults. Why would we expect babies to be any different from adults? It's a bit laughable that parenting "experts" expect a baby to mold their schedules with ours. When it really needs to be the opposite, at least for the early months. Now, it won't always be this way, but the first several weeks, even months, is all about that little bundle of joy, and that's a good thing. Those early weeks are some of the most precious moments for bonding.


We have the rest of our lives to be on a schedule. Instead of forcing our infants, or even toddlers, to get on a schedule, let's enjoy those haphazard moments with them, because pretty soon they will be in school. It can be pretty difficult to let go of our daily routines, especially for those who have A-Type Personalities, like myself. I don't like to be late for anything, actually most of my clocks are set 10 minutes fast, because I prefer to be early (Vince Lombardi Time), and I love "to-do lists". I am very much a planner, but children, especially newborns make all those schedules and lists seem so silly. Ultimately, they really aren't that important if we are choosing to finish housework vs. spend time with our children. (Yes, I know, the housework needs to get done at some point...) It definitely took me awhile to get used to this thought pattern, not that I have mastered it by any means. (I still hate being late!) I have, however, learned to let go more as we welcomed more children into our family. Surprisingly, I have begun to enjoy life and the craziness of the children more as I stopped trying to control every aspect of our world. Who would've thought that it has actually become a relief to no longer be in control of everything.

Baptism Weekend!

Please, Moms! It's Not A Competition - It's Life.

This past Monday, I was on The Morning Blend with another blogger, Amber from Milwaukee by Storm, and we were discussing the choices women make being stay-at-home moms vs. working moms with Molly Fay and Tiffany Ogle. This conversation stemmed from an article written by a mom who had chosen to stay home with her children and later regretted that decision because of her loss of time, income, and advancement in her field. It was a little difficult to relate to this woman in the sense that she felt her decision, made so many decades prior when her children were young, was the wrong decision. First of all, I have never been a person who dwells on regrets or past decisions, whether they were good or bad, because honestly, I cannot go back and change those choices. Second of all, I don’t view my job as a mom as a “hobby” (or something I just “wanted” to do, quoted by Lisa Endlich Heffernan), but as a vocation that I have chosen to accept and love through all the ups and downs. It’s through those ups and downs that I learn many lessons and in the end my goal by staying home is to raise morally good, honest, and up-standing citizens. This is why I view motherhood as a vocation, no matter whether you stay home or work, because it is our duty to raise not only our children, but to teach them how to eventually function in this world as adults when we are no longer here. For me, I believe it is in my best interest and the best interest of my family to stay home when the children are young and most needy, but this doesn’t work for everyone.

Now I am not saying that all women are meant to stay home with their children, but as moms (and as society in general) we need to learn that there shouldn’t be a competition with stones cast towards working moms vs. moms who stay home. The author of the article stated that she felt her decision to stay home with her children for so many years had “let down” countless women who had fostered the feminist movement in those generations prior towards breaking that glass ceiling. I don’t feel like I have “let down” any women from previous generations by choosing to stay home. I am appreciative for their fight to bring women into the workplace, but I also don’t think they would be happy knowing that we (as women) have pushed ourselves into a corner that no longer gives us the opportunity or dignity to stay home without feeling like a failure and having regrets. We have turned their social battle into a battle between mothers, mothers who work vs. mothers who stay home, and this is quite sad. The worst part is that us, as women, have created this battle amongst ourselves. It isn’t the men to blame, it is the women. Yes, those are strong words, but it is the truth. We, as women, have guilted ourselves about everything instead of making a choice, living with that choice, and learning to love our vocation no matter what it is, whether single, married, staying home, or being a working mom. 

There shouldn’t be categories or labels amongst us, we are all women, trying to do our best in this crazy world to succeed. The beauty of it all, is that we all have different definitions of success and we need to accept this philosophy. Some people view success in the terms of materialism, monetary gain, or personal achievement. While others view success upon family life, community involvement, and an interior personal growth without pomp and circumstance. Or you might view all of these as successful goals. Whatever your definition of success may be, it shouldn’t be questioned by others, especially if they don’t understand it. A woman may feel successful as she advances in her career and thereby receives a better pay check, but another woman may view her success based on her child's school play or having a home-cooked meal every night for a month, but none of these circumstances should be down-played, because they are crucial goals towards the development and harmony of society. We cannot all be successful in exactly the same way, just like we don’t all have the same God-given talents, which is the beauty and dignity of the human race.

I apologize for this ramble, but I do feel passionately about this topic, especially since I have seen women on both sides struggle with feelings of guilt, failure, lack of self-worth, and being overwhelmed in keeping up with societal expectations. It's time that we as women, especially moms, learn to appreciate each other through our faults and through our talents. We are all in this together, working tirelessly for our families, while trying to keep afloat. Instead of making this a competition between moms who work and moms who stay home, let's support each other through thick and thin, because we all are working to raise the next generation!

The amazing Amber from milwaukeebystorm.com. 

One of the guest bloggers hosting the Milwaukee Mommas' Night Out with Elm Grove Art!

Join us for a Milwaukee Mommas' Night Out at Elm Grove Art!

Register now to reserve your spot for this fun event on November 21st!