When Times Get Tough, It's Time For Summer!

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

It’s time for summer love, summer vacation, and summer adventures - to let loose without looking back. Who doesn’t want to have fun in the sun? We long for those brief summer months here in Wisconsin, no matter how brief they may last. As cold weather Midwesterners, we crave the sun and heat after several long months of winter, and of course, we are ridiculously jealous of our Southern friends. But for some reason, we keep coming back for more - how have we not learned yet? It’s about time to move to a warmer climate, right? Take me to Charleston! Maybe Midwesterners prefer this self-inflicted torture. 

After months of intense dreariness, dark clouds, and dry winter temperatures dipping below zero, the thought of warm sun, beach sand, and not having to bundle up lifts our moodiness and brings a smile. Those foreboding winter months force many Wisconsinites to retreat into a warm house, sip hot chocolate, and read the latest issue of Vogue sitting before a roaring fire. This may sound enticing, but after several months, the monotony begins. Yes, those Instagram pictures are a bit overrated. Honestly, how much hot chocolate can one person drink?

Sometimes it’s difficult to believe we have four seasons in Wisconsin. Spring is only a slightly warmer version of winter. So we anxiously await those days of sun, when it doesn’t take an additional twenty minutes to leave the house because a mitten is lost, again. Those warm carefree days when we can spend any extra moment with friends, family, and working on our slightly embarrassing Northern tan. Yes, we aren’t as austere as some may claim, we can laugh at ourselves. It’s that one time of year, no matter where we live in this beautiful country of ours, that we can have fun and enjoy life. Summer gives us an excuse for a vacation, for making family memories, a time when we no longer focus solely on working, but on enjoying the simple pleasures of life.

Summer is that amazing time when the beach welcomes us no matter how cool the water may feel, a blended strawberry daiquiri tastes much better while lounging next to a pool, and a pair of sandals become a wardrobe staple. It’s the heat, the sweat, and the sunshine that somehow have us wanting more, the months are just too short. Maybe it’s because living in Wisconsin brings too many months of winter and not enough months of summer love. Everyone loves the freshness of spring and the anticipation of warm weather to come, but summer brings something extra special. Summer brings a place for new beginnings, a time for creating lasting memories, unlike any we have previously experienced. The summer months have provided some amazing, out of this world exploits. The type of memories that mold us into the people we are or who are about to become - similar to a true friend. Summer is a good lasting friendship. It forces us to take a step out of the norm, and enjoy this unknown world.

Friendship and summer have much more in common than anyone could imagine. The type of friendship we search for our entire lives, but oftentimes never find. We may have plenty of acquaintances, and even a few people we feel confident enough to share some of our deepest secrets. But finding that true everlasting friend, is like finding a needle in the haystack. Summer is full of confidence, unforgettable moments, adventures, and with an intense desire to indulge. It doesn’t matter how long one is parted from a true friend, the strong bond will return. Summer gives us promises of acceptance and forgiveness - those overwhelming hot days are cooled off by an intense evening thunderstorm.

There have been many great summers in my life, ones that involved goofy high school friends, others that included many late night college parties, but one of the best was shared with a good friend, actually a “best friend”. I have always felt a bit silly saying “best friend” since the term was used so freely in grade school, but maybe it’s also a bit odd because once we reach adulthood, a “best friend” is almost impossible to find. Luckily, I have been blessed with such a gift!

This “best friend” knows when to give a hug, when to make me laugh so hard I’m crying, and even though she may know my flaws, for some reason, she still chooses to overlook them. But friendship isn’t a one-way street. It involves a commitment, a lack of self-interest, with the desire to be a part of this person’s life through thick and thin. Just like the season of summer. After months of struggling through the doldrums of winter, the summer sun shines through those gloomy clouds, and all is well.  But if we don’t take a moment to enjoy the sun and venture outside, it is only another day. Everyone needs a best friend, especially women. We go through life judging ourselves, looking at every minute detail in the hopes of reaching ridiculous expectations. We are often the hardest on ourselves and this is where a best friend steps in, she knows when it is just too much and calms the storm. 

The season of summer may bring the expectations of swimsuit weather and all that comes with it, but it also gives us a reprieve from the storm - the winter storm. Somehow, just when we think it’s too much to live through another cloudy day, the summer sun finds its way through the clouds to lift our spirits. As my “best friend” often says, “When tough times come, you will find your true friends.” 

Grateful Beyond Belief

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

Too often we go through life wishing for the next best thing. That's a fact of human nature; the grass is always greener. It's unfortunate, because we forget to examine our current situations and the amazing gifts we have been given. With Easter quickly approaching in three days, I thought it was perfect timing to contemplate my life and those who have made an impact on me.

This morning I was in an area of the city that isn't the best, but I saw the most beautiful thing that almost made me cry. A father was holding his child (about 4-5 months old) and wrapped in a blanket with only his face showing, because it was cold and rainy, while the dad was carrying a large bag, it might have contained the only items they owned. I didn't know where he was going, but he looked like he was on a mission. The father was very lovingly watching the child to make sure he was o.k., while also trying to not step in puddles and slip. This might not sound like much, but it was such a beautiful sign of love between a parent and child. A love that is missing in this world or hidden. We are so used to a love that only shows itself when it is self-serving. It didn't matter the economic or social conditions of this child and father, because they showed enough love and trust between the two of them.

It made me think on the drive home, through the dreary weather, that the old cliche saying is true. "All you need is love". I know, I know, me of all people who doesn't care for the corny quotes. But I think we all have those moments in life when everything is going wrong, we aren't able to control or solve the problems, and have to wait for slow fixes. Then suddenly, something happens to show how each of our lives are intertwined with one another. We don't understand it all now and won't probably until after we die. It leaves us in a state of pure confusion, but also relief, knowing that everything has a reason and purpose. It truly does, because if it didn't, there would be no point to any of this.


Little does this father know that by walking down the street at that exact moment would create such a profound affect on another person. With that thought in mind, our every action is an example of good or hurt. How do we want to be perceived in the world?

After these deep reflections, in a quiet car before picking up the kids from school and the start of spring break... I knew that it was time to think more of others, and less of myself, which of course is hard with our natural self tendencies. To do more for others in small ways, ways that we won't see the effects, or be able to promote on social media, but ways that will create a better world for all. Then maybe someday, those actions will be shown to us like a puzzle, many little jumbled pieces put together to create a wonderful masterpiece.

The freedom experiment

I am grateful for a lot of things in life, but I am most grateful for my life. The life that has been given to me with all the happiness, sorrows, thrills, adventures, friendships, family, and unsolvable problems. Because without each and everyone of these bits and pieces, it would not be my life. It might not make sense when I am going through the heartache or the celebrations, but no matter the event, each and every one of them have a sincere and utterly beautiful effect on my life and I am grateful that they have helped me develop a love and trust for myself, friends, family, and my children. Because what else matters in life than love?

We're Back!

Exciting news, we are back on the blog! We apologize, it has been over a year since our last post, but wow, what a year it has been. We have been through a lot, learned a lot, and have so much to tell.

It all started 2 years ago when Katy and I had a dream, actually anyone who knows us will correct that statement. We actually have several dreams, some come true and some don't, but this dream did come true. After almost a year in the works of business preparations and searching for a space to lease, we opened an art studio! This concept came after much deliberation, as we both have a love for the arts. Throughout this process, we have learned so much. We have transformed the studio into a creative space which offers a variety of class options for adults and children. Our love for children (yes, we have 7 children between the two of us) had us focus our attention on furthering the arts to young minds. The studio offers a variety of art classes, dance classes, tea parties, summer camps, floral design classes, creative writing courses, photography, and of course, an option for private parties. What was once a dream has now become a reality!

That's not all the news. Can you believe there's more? Well, the day after the lease was signed for the studio, I found out I was expecting baby #4, surprise! Best surprise ever! The little one just turned four months and he is most definitely giving me a run for my money. Life is good.

With that being said, we wanted to pick up where we left off on this blog. Yes, we will continue to bring you fun and sarcastic write-ups about common sense and manners, but we look forward to sharing our experiences as mothers and business owners with you. Believe me, we have wonderful stories to tell.

Little Girls and Little Boys

Let me start out by saying that I grew up in a family of all boys. I have three younger brothers, so for the most part I spent my childhood playing with boys. As a little girl, I always wanted to be a mother of boys, probably because that was what I knew best. Well, now that I am a mother of three boys, it is definitely a different experience than just being a sister of many brothers.

I had always wanted a little girl, and my husband and I were blessed with that girl as our first child. She is such a help, and loves to assist her little brothers in a "motherly" way that comes instinctively to her (with a tinge of bossiness). I love her so very dearly, but it is absolutely amazing how differently little girls and little boys need love. It is very true that girls and boys are wired with some distinctive traits, which makes them unique, so lovable, and complimentary to each other. I am not saying that all girls have the same qualities and all boys have the same qualities, but I have noticed significant similarities.

Little Girls

     My daughter shows love through gifts, especially drawing pictures and wrapping presents. It doesn't matter what the gift is, she just loves to prepare it and give it. This is definitely one of her love languages, but it seems to be pretty consistent across the board for girls.

     Little girls talk a lot! They don't necessarily need to have a conversation, but they need to know someone is listening to them. Instead of needing constant hugs, my daughter just needs to know that I am present, not that I necessarily hear everything, but that I am available when she needs to talk.

     Above all, little girls love to serve others which shows their independency. This trait seems to come instinctively, but oftentimes isn't fostered correctly by parents and then they become self-centered. If girls learn how significant this quality is, especially as adults, they will do great things! I have noticed that girls feel accomplished and of value when they complete a project or are given a task. (It does helps that girls multi-task extremely well).

Little Boys

     My boys, show love through touches, kisses, and hugs. It isn't enough to only know that I am present in the room, they need to be squished up against my arm or sitting on my lap with their arms around my neck. These are the moments I love, while I remind myself to slow down with my daily tasks to spend precious moments with them.

     Little boys talk when it's necessary. For the most part, my boys only talk when they need something specific. I have noticed that one of my sons becomes much louder when my daughter is in the room. It is almost like he needs to compete with the noise, but when she isn't in the room, he's pretty quiet (unless he's in the middle of a wrestling match with his brother).

     The most important thing I have learned about boys is that they need to play, and play in a boyish type of way. This type of play isn't necessarily my forte, as I don't really care to wrestle or be wild, but it is important for them to do this together. Luckily, my husband loves to wrestle!


Boys and Girls

     Boys and Girls each have their unique qualities and different ways in which they show love and need to be loved. Interestingly, girls really never outgrow their desire to serve and care for others, while boys never really outgrow their love to "play". They all grow up to be adults, but their desires remain the same. These desires only grow with them - women learn to serve others, whether through their job or in their family, while men "play" either with their tools, sports, or friends. It's beautiful how boys and girls desire different forms of love.
   

An Open Letter of Thank You to ALL Moms

We spend a lot of wasteful time pointing out the differences between moms, whether that is in reference to stay-at-home moms, working moms, crafty moms, moms who volunteer, moms who bake and cook like it's going out of style, book-smart moms, street-smart moms, or whatever type of label you choose to apply, and there sure are plenty of them (actually too many). The mom "labels" are a little ridiculous, so instead of pin pointing to a specific "group", it's time to say THANK YOU to ALL moms!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving next week, and my refusal to celebrate Christmas before Turkey Day, I am writing a heart-felt open letter of thank you to all moms, no matter their talents or flaws - you are all loved!

1.   I am grateful for those moms who can play in the mud, race cars, and build castles out of pillows with their little loves - your are creating the architects, engineers, and artists of tomorrow.

2.   I am grateful to the moms who always have a spotless kitchen, clean laundry, and swept floors - you are an example of order and cleanliness.

3.   I am grateful for those moms who have piles of papers and knick knacks scattered throughout the house - you have created a safe world of distraction for your little ones.

4.   I am grateful to all those moms who kiss their sleeping children at night and tuck them in - these are the peaceful moments you will always remember, no matter how exhausted you are from the day.

5.   I am grateful to the moms who work everyday to make their child's world a better place - the fruitfulness of these efforts are long-term, but very much worth it.

6.   I am grateful for those moms who wake up each morning, still sleep deprived, but somehow reach for that cup of coffee (a true gift from God) and continue on with the day - you are teaching your little ones the value of adversity and continuity.

7.   I am grateful for all those moms who worry - those with uneasiness about their children, their husbands, their homes, their jobs, and their daily duties - those worries, no matter how stressful they seem at the time, are signs of love. It's only natural to worry for those we love!

8.   I am grateful to the moms who find time to devote and volunteer their free moments not only for their families, but also for their friends, neighbors, and strangers - you keep the world turning, burning with love. What a charitable example you are for your children and even the adults around you.

9.    I am grateful for those moms who love their husbands with an undying love, even through the difficult times, the exhausting times, and the amazing times - you are teaching your children one of the greatest lessons in life - a lesson of uncompromising devotion that can only be found in the family.

10.   I am most of all grateful to my mom, grandmother, my best friend, and all of the moms (and believe me, there are A LOT) I have ever met who devote their lives, their very essence, to the well-being of their children, their husbands, and their families. You have each made such a lasting impression on my soul and I have learned something very dear from each of you.

credit: clipartbest

Schedules, Childhood, & Newborns

It has been a busy week at our house, with the birth of Baby #4. We brought him home to the other Little Ones, and began adjusting our lives around his schedule. Perfect example, this post was planned to go up on Thursday and here we are days later...  It is to be expected, since the schedule of a newborn is never in line with that of the parents or siblings. It's amazing how such a little person can take control of the entire household just with his cries. Isn't it a beautiful thing that a baby can command a room? Beautiful and tiring!

When I was pregnant with Baby #1, everyone had an opinion on how to get that little bundle of joy on a strict schedule. Whether it was a feeding schedule, a diaper changing schedule, or a sleep schedule. The funny thing is that I never really cared to hear about these schedules, partly because I'm super stubborn and I don't want other people to tell me what to do, but mostly because I knew these schedules wouldn't last past the first few weeks. (Even that is probably a stretch). It just seemed common sense to me that babies will eat when they are hungry, poop when needed, and sleep when they are tired, just like adults. Why would we expect babies to be any different from adults? It's a bit laughable that parenting "experts" expect a baby to mold their schedules with ours. When it really needs to be the opposite, at least for the early months. Now, it won't always be this way, but the first several weeks, even months, is all about that little bundle of joy, and that's a good thing. Those early weeks are some of the most precious moments for bonding.


We have the rest of our lives to be on a schedule. Instead of forcing our infants, or even toddlers, to get on a schedule, let's enjoy those haphazard moments with them, because pretty soon they will be in school. It can be pretty difficult to let go of our daily routines, especially for those who have A-Type Personalities, like myself. I don't like to be late for anything, actually most of my clocks are set 10 minutes fast, because I prefer to be early (Vince Lombardi Time), and I love "to-do lists". I am very much a planner, but children, especially newborns make all those schedules and lists seem so silly. Ultimately, they really aren't that important if we are choosing to finish housework vs. spend time with our children. (Yes, I know, the housework needs to get done at some point...) It definitely took me awhile to get used to this thought pattern, not that I have mastered it by any means. (I still hate being late!) I have, however, learned to let go more as we welcomed more children into our family. Surprisingly, I have begun to enjoy life and the craziness of the children more as I stopped trying to control every aspect of our world. Who would've thought that it has actually become a relief to no longer be in control of everything.

Baptism Weekend!

Mommy Meltdown

The Mommy Meltdown.

Are we allowed to have a meltdown?

If so, when?

How to have a Mommy Meltdown?

...and Why?

Oh the joys of a Mommy Meltdown....Do you have them, because I most certainly do not ever have them.............in public that is. Wink wink.....

Ok, so you are mom, we are living the dream or least trying to to live it. We get up each day, make lunches for school, clean the house, raise the kids, go to work etc.... We do a lot. So every once in awhile it catches up with us. No..... it literally hits you in the face like the frying pan hit Flynn Ryder in Tangled. Right?

Life can be tough at times and occasionally we are going to loose it...Mommy Meltdown! But do any of you have those perfect friends that you are positively sure never meltdown? I thought I did, actually I have even been accused of never having a meltdowns........Blahahaha! News Flash!!! Every mom has had them! Some just "hide" it better! 

Social media has been awesome but it has it's downfalls...the venting status... I have completely been guilty of the venting status or hashtag. The ones where you are needing to vent and an adult human is not nearby so you vent online. Well mamas not the best idea. That venting is just a scream to let people judge you. How many of you are nodding your head right now agreeing with me. Yup, I thought so!

I have learn from my very wise mom, that if you have a meltdown, vent quickly. Vent quickly? Wait I should not have a giant pity, cry your eyes until you are puffy, in need of chocolate, where is the wine meltdown? Well what is the fun in that? Hahaha!!!! Vent quickly for me means, calling mom or my best friend and venting for two minutes and then it is their turn to vent for two minutes. Yes only two minutes! Does it help, you betcha. Why? Because half the time when you are having a mommy meltdown you just need a listening board, no comments,  just someone that you can trust to listen!

Seriously, the two minute venting thing is great, try it and you will see. 

Why only two minutes....well because if you vent for any more time, you will allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself and who has time for that. Wink!

So while I think is completely human to have a mommy meltdown and sometimes even on a regular basis, we gotta keep it together. Why? Because we are moms and if we do not keep it together who will!

Have a lovely meltdown-free day!

Katy