Closing Out The Month of October with Big Changes

I don't know about you, but October has been quite a month. Typically, I love this month as I watch the change of the seasons - the chill fall air as it becomes sweater season and while I attempt those fun fall festivals with the kids. This October was different, and I am quite happy the month has finally come to a close. With the end of the month, we also finalized the sale of our home and completed a temporary move while we build our new house. These many life changing events are exhausting and I look forward to quieter days over the next several months before we have to move again. In the midst of all this chaos, I realized how little time I have to care for myself. Most moms are guilty of this and it's time that we change it.

I have come to a point in my life, with four kids, where I don't miss the weekly ladies' nights or the weekend getaways. Don't get me wrong, I would definitely love to do those again in the future, but right now, I'm happy at home getting the rambunctious kids to bed and then relaxing on the couch watching a show with my husband or pouring over a good book.

When it comes to New Year Resolutions, I have always believed they are a bunch of promises waiting to be broken. I believe in daily commitments to our family and friends, while also renewing our personal and spiritual goals. This is where I have been lacking, and where so many other moms are also feeling lost. We go through each day attending to the needs of our family, and by the time bedtime comes, we have little energy left to renew our depleted selves. This needs to change!

As women, and especially as mothers, we need to focus on ourselves, because when we eat healthy and exercise, our children desire to do the same. When we spend moments reading a new book, our children will seek to imitate our search for learning. When we spend moments in quiet reflection, our children will also desire this peace of mind and soul. Each of us is so occupied with our family, that we forget how important the mother's role is beyond just her service. Mothers show the love and they provide the protection. Mothers are the mediator and also the observer. How can anyone provide all these roles without caring for oneself also?

Enjoying a few last views at our old home.

With the end of a month, and the beginning of a new month, it is time to focus on ourselves while also caring for our families.

• Enjoy these last few weeks of fall weather and spend the afternoon outside enjoying the gift of nature. Teach those little ones how blessed we are for green grass and the beautiful sun.
• There is a time for work and a time for play. Sometimes the laundry can wait, but other times it cannot. Find the right balance.
• Remember that you are raising the next generation. What an amazing, yet daunting task! Take time to read. As mothers, we should also desire to learn new things. If we are learning and growing, our children will desire to do this also.
• Organization and Balance. Find what works best for you. Some moms have a weekly meal plan, while others like to cook on the spur of the moment. Some moms have a weekly cleaning schedule, while others clean as needed. None of us are the same, so find what works best with your family, but make a firm commitment to maintain a healthy and happy home.

When It's Time To Accept The Change Of The Seasons

This past weekend was more difficult than I expected. It has been almost 10 years since I founded my floral design company. This business was truly a work of the heart as I built it from the ground up, mostly by word-of-mouth. Those personal referrals were the best. I had never been formally trained in flowers, but I realized quickly that I loved working with them. What better job than designing a masterpiece out of God's beautiful creations? But as my husband and I welcomed more children into the family, my time became limited, and instead of enjoying my life as a mom, I was becoming frustrated with the little ones and frustrated with my lack of time to design flowers. I shouldn't be surprised anymore by God's sense of humor, because just when my business was exploding, I decided through many hard lessons, that it was time to close the doors. I needed to focus on the little ones and their needs above the needs of my brides. These days and years are just so short, I don't want to miss these crazy moments!

I truly admire the women who can do it all - the family, the career, the social life, and personal time, but I am just not one of those women. I can definitely stretch myself thin and still survive, but I don't want that type of life. So I have learned that through every phase in life, it is time to accept some things and give up others and right now I choose to give up my entrepreneurial aspirations for my family - except my writing, I need my writing! It was difficult to let go, especially since I can be a controlling person, but I can always start up the company again in the future. Nothing needs to be final, after all, there are so many phases in life. Just like the season for apple picking (which we did over the weekend). All fruits and vegetables have their own special seasons, so do the seasons of our lives. Change is good - it's just difficult to accept sometimes!

It was difficult for me to give up a company I had worked so hard to grow, but it was time. I can still get my flower design fix by creating arrangements for our church, but I do have a sense of relief that there will be no more weddings in my near future. Instead, I will have much more time with the family, sewing my quilts (a hobby I haven't tapped into for many years), time for school functions, church events, and of course, my writing. Ultimately, if I am not working towards the good of my entire family, then I am working towards nothing, because my greatest gifts are my husband and my children and if I don't treasure them first, then nothing else matters.

When It's Time for Chocolate - Katherine Hepburn Brownies

There are just some days when my sweet tooth takes over and I.MUST.HAVE.CHOCOLATE! I found the most delicious brownie recipe, and then tweaked it to fit my own style. You will definitely want to try these Katherine Hepburn Brownies for your next dinner party, work treat, or even afternoon snack. My kids couldn't get enough of these, I will need to make these again soon!

I love gooey brownies, so I removed the walnuts from the original recipe.

These brownies were baked in muffin tins.

There's something special about powdered sugar sprinkled over a delicious brownie - so I added my own special touch

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything" ~ Katherine Hepburn

Monday is Momday - Thanks to Cat & Nat!

Thanks to the fabulous moms who invented the hilarious #MOMTRUTH Fridays (or is it Friyays, am I too old to say that?), Cat & Nat, I decided to share a bit of their humor from this morning's live video. Did you know that Mondays are now Momdays? Thank you, Ladies, for my new favorite day of the week!

Cat & Nat

Photo Credit: Facebook Profile

• Momdays are now the days that I can drink as many cups of coffee, without guilt, just to survive the heaping loads of laundry that have piled from who knows where over the weekend.

• Momdays are now the days that I will never get a nap in, because my two year old still has energy leftover from the weekend.

• Momdays are now the days that I just want to sit and eat cookies, but my 11 month old needs to nurse and snuggle... I can't resist that. Afterthought, I should eat cookies and nurse!

• Momdays are now the days I wake up earlier to pack the kids' lunches, because for some reason, I just can't get my act together on a Sunday night. Drink wine with my husband and watch Netflix or pack lunches, what would you choose?

• Momdays are now the days that I need at eat at least 6 meals, because all weekend was spent on my feet with the four little ones and I forgot that food gets me through those days.

• Momdays are now the days that the refrigerator needs to be restocked, because grocery shopping on the weekend is for the birds!

• Momdays are the days that I must suffer through a whining 2 year old, who found his pacifier over the weekend and kept it in his pocket. Now it's time to take it away, again, for the third week in a row...

• Momdays are the the days that I have all the best intentions to keep my meal plan schedule. Don't ask about it by Wednesday night. Anyone want Mac & Cheese?

• Momdays are the days that I pray for little homework, because it's the only night without activities or family commitments. Family dinners are always chaotic, but one of my favorite times of the day! Yes, please!

• Momdays are sometimes the saddest days, because I only have two out of the four children at home with me.

• Momdays are now my favorite day, because at the start of every new week I get to wake up my sleeping children to give them kisses and I am so grateful for this awesome vocation called, MOTHERHOOD!

And that's my Momday Monday! Enjoy your week!

Please Excuse My Social Absence

            It’s not you, it’s me. No, really, it’s me. My famous last words, or more like my personal motto for the past several years – one that I was not always proud of, but one that I have learned to accept. As a mother of four children, my schedule has changed quite drastically since the birth of baby #1. With the first two children, life was relatively carefree. "Carefree" in a loose definition of the word. Yes, there were struggles; I learned how to breastfeed my babies, while also adjusting to the lack of sleep, but for the most part, life was simple. There was still plenty of time to meet friends for morning coffee, lunch, and even pedicures. It was relatively easy to find a babysitter for two kids, or even bring them along. But as each beautiful new baby joined our family, adjustments were made and it became difficult for me with four little ones to accept social invitations.

            Everyday tasks that had once been easy, now needed much more planning and occupied double the time with four children at my heels. I wanted desperately to visit with friends and have non-interrupted moments while discussing a book in a mom’s group, but this was not my world any longer and I needed to accept it. I dreamed of a night out with my friends, sans kids. It wasn’t easy to put myself first anymore, actually there was no time for myself, especially with an on-demand nursing baby. I always had good intentions, but when the clock started ticking and it was only an hour or two before meeting friends, I was just too exhausted. It sounded more enticing to get these little ones to bed and enjoy a quiet evening home with my husband. It’s not you, it’s me.

There reaches a point in every mom’s life when it is no longer easy to leave the house with those little bundles of joy. For some moms, the magic number might be one, for others it might be three, but for me it was four. I am still in awe of those supermoms who take all five children out for dinner. I salute, YOU! I just wasn’t one of those supermoms and the thought of bringing my four children, three of them rambunctious boys, out to a girls' lunch felt like a daunting task. So I decided it was best not to risk the potential failure.

It wasn’t easy for me to pass on these social invitations. Those “good times” with my friends had at one time been memorable, now I just couldn’t get myself out the front door. Caring for my wonderful children all day long was exhausting and there was very little energy to muster up for myself. I was upset at myself that I couldn’t juggle it all. Why didn’t my little ones want to spend a quiet morning at the coffee shop nibbling on a pastry? Then I had an awakening – I wanted to stay home with my little family. I preferred to stay home and make breakfast with those little happy faces rather than getting everyone packed up and to the coffee shop by 8:00 a.m.

            So for all of those frustrated women that rarely see their “mom friends". It really, truly isn’t you, it’s just the way of motherhood. Don’t stop the invitations, because one day, that mom will be able to find the energy after a long day and sleepless night to spend much needed time with her close friends. She will finally find a night to have a little bit of “me time.”

Friendship may be a two-way street, but my children bring an entirely different perspective. There will be one day when I can fulfill each one of those social obligations that I once loved, but for now I am quite content spending these fleeting moments with my children while they are still young. I don't want to miss these carefree days of childhood.

    

The Building Blocks of Childhood

I am a strong believer in children learning to play on their own. Developed imaginations are so incredibly important, from this children will learn how to be creative as adults. So, I strongly encourage this in my little ones.

Now that the two older children are at school for full days (which I still can't believe), there's much more time for me to spend one on one with the younger boys. I forgot how much I can do with only two children at my feet. Our new found time has been spent on long walks, scavenger hunts, bike rides, and creative play. We pulled out these fun cardboard blocks that Santa delivered last Christmas and built several forts, castles, a bridge, dinner, and even a birthday cake!

I love to watch the boys use their imagination to create new worlds with these ALEX Blocks. We finished our day of play with ice cream cones for everyone!

Imaginative plays allows the child to use all five senses, that teaches children how to become miniature inventors. Maybe your child will be an architect, fashion designer, engineer, or musician. Help your child view the world in a positive way by the process of imaginative and creative play.

Sending Them Off To School With A Mother's Love

Just when I thought life might get a little easier with the two oldest in school for the full day, it actually got harder. I assumed having two out of the four kids at school for an entire day would make my life easier. I was wrong. It might be a little less noisy in the house, but my two older children, who have extremely creative imaginations are no longer here to keep the two year old and 10 month old occupied with games of house, kitchen, or castle building. Now my two year old needs even more attention than before, how is that possible? Because he wasn't needy enough before? It's nice to spend more quality time with the two younger boys, but I also have laundry to finish, floors to wash, and furniture to dust. And honestly, no, it can't wait until tomorrow, because we also have our house on the market. So who knows when the next showing will be requested.

Megan Ramminger Photography

I'm blessed to  have my children at an amazing school where I know they are taken care of, because it definitely isn't easy handing them over everyday. I truly thought giving up the reins would be easier as they grew older and became more independent, but it's not. It's sad realizing that I'm not needed as much as I used to be by those two silly ones. Then I get brought back to reality when the 10 month old starts crying because he's tired and hungry. Luckily, all my children are still very young and I have a lot of time left with those smiling faces. As much as I love the daily structure of school, I am already missing those carefree summer days. And it hasn't even been a week!



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The Innocence of Motherhood

I watch my seven year old daughter everyday as she tries to do everything "mother-like", as she talks about becoming a mom one day. This firecracker child of mine describes into great detail how she will organize her children's playroom, or what food she will cook for them and I can't help but smile. I love the innocence. Looking back, I had this same innocence at her age. I loved the thought of staying home and caring for my family. Of course, I had no idea what was truly involved with this scenario, but I was just like her - dreaming of motherhood. I would play house everyday, even several times a day, with my younger brothers. I was always the mother, just like my little girl.

Megan Ramminger Photography

Now, as I watch her play and talk about being a mom, I realized that I have tainted my own idea of motherhood and I need to return to those innocent days. Not that it will ever be the same as "playing house", but why can't I have fun daydreaming about my children's future playroom in the house we are going to build, or why can't I love to cook dinner, just like I did when I was 14 years old? Life doesn't have to be full of meaningless and dreadful tasks. Instead of shuddering at the thought of doing a load of laundry or making beds, I need to go back to those days of innocence.

The horrors of the world and adulthood may have tainted my view of motherhood for a bit, but it won't take precedence anymore. I am determined to go back to those beautiful days of motherhood. This approach won't make my work load any lighter, but it will make it more enjoyable for myself and my family. So instead of allowing myself to get caught up in this fast-paced world, I am choosing to spend my moments with my family. This beautiful innocence of motherhood will now be part of my life once again.

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I Am Living the American Dream

No matter what any celebrity, politician, or media source may want me to believe, I truly am living the American Dream. This might not be the same dream my grandparents sought after or even the dream from the Baby Boomers Generation, but this is my dream. Not everyone's dream is the same, and this is what makes America great. Unfortunately, many Americans are searching for a superficial dream. At one time, parents worked to create a better life for their children. A life where their children would develop an understanding of moral and natural law. A life where their children would glow with pride at the sight of the American Flag - true model citizens.  Those dreams didn't involve new sports cars, designer clothing, and countless extracurricular sports activities. Parents were not so much worried about raising sensitive toddlers, rather their goal was to raise independent, strong, and responsible adults for the good of society.

Now that the "American Dream" has changed to unrealistic proportions, people automatically assume that it is dead, but this is far from the truth. The concepts of beauty and truth have become clouded to most of society. Instead of searching for everlasting forms of happiness, many people search for fleeting moments of happiness, whether that's a new car, the latest IPhone, a designer pair of shoes, giving into the Starbucks addiction, overnight celebrity status, laying around on a couch taking selfies,or fulling a personal void of loneliness with extravagant vacations. There is nothing wrong with these luxuries, as long as they are accepted in moderation. Our lives are not meant to be one long vacation. To earn these vacations and overpriced coffees, we must be willing to work for them.  If you believe these items fulfill your American Dream, then you are a bit misguided. It will be very difficult to find true happiness and inner peace with these destructible goods - you will never have enough.

If we begin to live like generations past, we will find the American Dream. My husband and I are living our American Dream. Is life perfect? Absolutely not, but who's life is? Instead of living for ourselves, we are living for our children. Family is what matters. We can't take any of these items with us when we die, but we can leave bits of ourselves with our children. Small precious memories that they can pass on to their children. Memories of having a water balloon fight in summer, growing a garden together, baking cookies, and writing thank you letters for birthday presents - these are small pieces of a bigger puzzle. Children will lose count of how many presents they open or how many shopping trips they make take, but they will never forget memories. This to me is the American Dream.

I am blessed with a beautiful life. After graduating from college and then working as a Paralegal, I stayed home after my husband and I had baby #1. What an amazing opportunity I was given. During that same time I also owned and operated three small businesses, wrote and had my first book published with my best friend, all while raising my children at home. Even through all those great experiences, I realized that I only wanted to be home with the little ones. I wanted my children to become model citizens, who work to better this beautiful country not only for themselves, but for everyone and for future generations. I am living my American Dream.

Not all of us have the same dream. Some Americans work extremely hard each day to further a corporate career, or run a small business, while others are striving to make ends meet at a minimum wage job. No matter or position in life, we can all strive for the American Dream. Very few women around the world are given any of those opportunities, they are trying to survive each day by getting food on the table for their family. We have been blessed with so much in America, but if our dream has become superficial and based upon personal achievements and money, then we are destined for failure, because true and everlasting happiness can never be bought. The beauty of the American Dream lies in our hearts. We choose what paths to follow, and we must live with those consequences. Don't waste a precious moment. Life is too short. Start creating your American Dream!

Slow Down for Summer Memories

There's something special about the month of July. I have an obnoxious love for the hot summer months, maybe it's my Portuguese blood or my dread of coats. I'm not quite sure, but whatever the reason I wish this month would last forever.

Every summer seems to fly by, but this summer has been different. My children and I are calling this our Summer of Adventures. It all started when I decided it was time to slow down and enjoy these special months with the kids. The past few years, my two older children had spent part of the time in summer school, which was a double-edged sword. It gave them a chance to learn German, French, and Kindergarten basics, but it also broke up our day. Between summer school and naps for the little ones, there wasn't much time left for any adventures. The word "adventures" causes a bit of anxiety with my choleric temperament, but I learned a long time ago from my best friend, that "adventures" make this life special and they are even more important for kids. Adventures create memories.

After spending many months cooped up with a crying baby number four during the cold winter months, I decided this summer would be one big adventure with the kids. Not every day includes an out of this world memorable moment, because honestly, most of the days are only full of simple activities, but the best part is doing them together as a family and with friends. Where will your next adventure take you this summer?

Photo Credit: Megan S

1. Just Drive & Discover - Take a drive and visit a new place. Drive until you want to stop. This was our goal last week. I need to get my wedding band resized and instead of coming back home right away, we ended up an hour north of the city and discovered small Wisconsin towns. It was actually more relaxing than I thought. The kids did fight a little in the car, but stopping in a small town to play at the park was unforgettable. My kids had the entire park to themselves, except a grandfather pitching to his granddaughter. I felt like I was living the dream.

2. Catch Up - Many of us Wisconsinites hide in our homes during the long long months of winter, but summer is the time to catch up with friends. Every week we are planning on visiting new and old friends for a few hours of carefree playtime.

3. Soak Up the Summer Sun - I can never have enough sun and this summer we are spending as much time outside as possible. We have done everything from painting rocks, swimming, chalk coloring, gardening, house repairs, catching fireflies, and water fights. The more I step out of my comfort zone, the more the children also want to try new things. My oldest son decided the best way to spend an afternoon was to examine a dead ant for over an hour. (Whatever makes you happy, buddy!)

Photo Credit: Megan S.

The options are limitless for these amazing summer months and I don't even want to think about them ending. For now, I am going to appreciate these amazing moments with my sweet kiddos. One of my favorite holidays is this weekend and we plan on living it up with Farmers Markets, Parades, Fun Fest, Fireworks, Family Parties, and much more! Yes, I love the Fourth of July. God Bless America!

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

Give A Little Love

Author: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

Take a moment to smile and change the world - any small act of love. Last week I took all four children to the grocery store (I know that's pretty crazy, right?) and typically my older two like to color pictures and give them as "gifts" to the unsuspecting check-out person. Well, at first I was irritated with myself because I chose the aisle with the crabby lady who wouldn't crack a smile. My first thought: oh great, she's going to ignore the pictures and the children will be upset. Note to self - address the situation later in the car. Luckily, my children didn't notice her mood right away and enthusiastically handed her the colored pictures. The woman apprehensively grabbed the folded papers and assumed they were garbage. She was about to throw them away, but I explained the children made presents for her...and then I waited for her reaction...you will never believe it, but her entire mood changed. The lady loved the pictures and was extremely chatty and kind to the children after receiving the gifts. These little ones who were so excited to color a picture for the check-out person (even though they didn't know her) completely turned this lady's day around. I’m sure every nearby shopper heard my huge sigh of relief.

This experience reaffirmed my belief that adults are jaded (yes, none of us are exempt). We rely too much on our emotions and creating lasting impressions. Adults are self-centered. We truly need to become more like little children and give ourselves completely to the happiness of others. I have heard many people question the deterioration of their own sanity by giving all of themselves to others. Let's be honest, society constantly asks the same selfish questions day in and day out. "What have you done for yourself today?" "How will you reward yourself?" It starts again with the uncontrollable reward system. Let's look at this from a different point of view. It's about time that we love for the sake of loving and helping for the sake of offering unconditional love. Working together, we can create a unified community. The more love and attention I give to my children and husband, the less I focus on myself and interestingly enough, I am transported into a sublime state of happiness. My love has grown leaps and bounds for my family over the years. The more children we have, and the more I dedicate my entire being to the welfare of my family, the more I love them all. There’s an amazing never-ending supply of love. Don't reserve that love for only close family and friends (even though they greatly deserve it), but spread it to all.

We will never regret loving another person, even if they aren't receptive, but there will definitely be regrets if we never try. So, instead of "paying it forward" only around Christmas time or a few moments a year when social media reminds us; it's time to give ourselves (all of ourselves) everyday. Every person deserves to be loved – family, friends, and strangers. We are social beings who desire love, so let's unconditionally give that love, while also raising our children to do the same, because ultimately, what is life without love?

Bucket List of Unconditional Love

ü  Invite a friend/family member over for dinner who is lonely.

ü  Bake your favorite cookies and drop them off at a neighbor’s house.

ü  Pick a handful of flowers and visit an elderly relative.

ü  Smile at a stranger everyday (you will never be happy in your own little bubble)/

ü  Enjoy every  moment with your family and friends. You will never get a repeat. Those closest to us are sometimes the most difficult to love, but all the more reason to show them respect.

When Times Get Tough, It's Time For Summer!

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

It’s time for summer love, summer vacation, and summer adventures - to let loose without looking back. Who doesn’t want to have fun in the sun? We long for those brief summer months here in Wisconsin, no matter how brief they may last. As cold weather Midwesterners, we crave the sun and heat after several long months of winter, and of course, we are ridiculously jealous of our Southern friends. But for some reason, we keep coming back for more - how have we not learned yet? It’s about time to move to a warmer climate, right? Take me to Charleston! Maybe Midwesterners prefer this self-inflicted torture. 

After months of intense dreariness, dark clouds, and dry winter temperatures dipping below zero, the thought of warm sun, beach sand, and not having to bundle up lifts our moodiness and brings a smile. Those foreboding winter months force many Wisconsinites to retreat into a warm house, sip hot chocolate, and read the latest issue of Vogue sitting before a roaring fire. This may sound enticing, but after several months, the monotony begins. Yes, those Instagram pictures are a bit overrated. Honestly, how much hot chocolate can one person drink?

Sometimes it’s difficult to believe we have four seasons in Wisconsin. Spring is only a slightly warmer version of winter. So we anxiously await those days of sun, when it doesn’t take an additional twenty minutes to leave the house because a mitten is lost, again. Those warm carefree days when we can spend any extra moment with friends, family, and working on our slightly embarrassing Northern tan. Yes, we aren’t as austere as some may claim, we can laugh at ourselves. It’s that one time of year, no matter where we live in this beautiful country of ours, that we can have fun and enjoy life. Summer gives us an excuse for a vacation, for making family memories, a time when we no longer focus solely on working, but on enjoying the simple pleasures of life.

Summer is that amazing time when the beach welcomes us no matter how cool the water may feel, a blended strawberry daiquiri tastes much better while lounging next to a pool, and a pair of sandals become a wardrobe staple. It’s the heat, the sweat, and the sunshine that somehow have us wanting more, the months are just too short. Maybe it’s because living in Wisconsin brings too many months of winter and not enough months of summer love. Everyone loves the freshness of spring and the anticipation of warm weather to come, but summer brings something extra special. Summer brings a place for new beginnings, a time for creating lasting memories, unlike any we have previously experienced. The summer months have provided some amazing, out of this world exploits. The type of memories that mold us into the people we are or who are about to become - similar to a true friend. Summer is a good lasting friendship. It forces us to take a step out of the norm, and enjoy this unknown world.

Friendship and summer have much more in common than anyone could imagine. The type of friendship we search for our entire lives, but oftentimes never find. We may have plenty of acquaintances, and even a few people we feel confident enough to share some of our deepest secrets. But finding that true everlasting friend, is like finding a needle in the haystack. Summer is full of confidence, unforgettable moments, adventures, and with an intense desire to indulge. It doesn’t matter how long one is parted from a true friend, the strong bond will return. Summer gives us promises of acceptance and forgiveness - those overwhelming hot days are cooled off by an intense evening thunderstorm.

There have been many great summers in my life, ones that involved goofy high school friends, others that included many late night college parties, but one of the best was shared with a good friend, actually a “best friend”. I have always felt a bit silly saying “best friend” since the term was used so freely in grade school, but maybe it’s also a bit odd because once we reach adulthood, a “best friend” is almost impossible to find. Luckily, I have been blessed with such a gift!

This “best friend” knows when to give a hug, when to make me laugh so hard I’m crying, and even though she may know my flaws, for some reason, she still chooses to overlook them. But friendship isn’t a one-way street. It involves a commitment, a lack of self-interest, with the desire to be a part of this person’s life through thick and thin. Just like the season of summer. After months of struggling through the doldrums of winter, the summer sun shines through those gloomy clouds, and all is well.  But if we don’t take a moment to enjoy the sun and venture outside, it is only another day. Everyone needs a best friend, especially women. We go through life judging ourselves, looking at every minute detail in the hopes of reaching ridiculous expectations. We are often the hardest on ourselves and this is where a best friend steps in, she knows when it is just too much and calms the storm. 

The season of summer may bring the expectations of swimsuit weather and all that comes with it, but it also gives us a reprieve from the storm - the winter storm. Somehow, just when we think it’s too much to live through another cloudy day, the summer sun finds its way through the clouds to lift our spirits. As my “best friend” often says, “When tough times come, you will find your true friends.” 

Little Girls and Little Boys

Let me start out by saying that I grew up in a family of all boys. I have three younger brothers, so for the most part I spent my childhood playing with boys. As a little girl, I always wanted to be a mother of boys, probably because that was what I knew best. Well, now that I am a mother of three boys, it is definitely a different experience than just being a sister of many brothers.

I had always wanted a little girl, and my husband and I were blessed with that girl as our first child. She is such a help, and loves to assist her little brothers in a "motherly" way that comes instinctively to her (with a tinge of bossiness). I love her so very dearly, but it is absolutely amazing how differently little girls and little boys need love. It is very true that girls and boys are wired with some distinctive traits, which makes them unique, so lovable, and complimentary to each other. I am not saying that all girls have the same qualities and all boys have the same qualities, but I have noticed significant similarities.

Little Girls

     My daughter shows love through gifts, especially drawing pictures and wrapping presents. It doesn't matter what the gift is, she just loves to prepare it and give it. This is definitely one of her love languages, but it seems to be pretty consistent across the board for girls.

     Little girls talk a lot! They don't necessarily need to have a conversation, but they need to know someone is listening to them. Instead of needing constant hugs, my daughter just needs to know that I am present, not that I necessarily hear everything, but that I am available when she needs to talk.

     Above all, little girls love to serve others which shows their independency. This trait seems to come instinctively, but oftentimes isn't fostered correctly by parents and then they become self-centered. If girls learn how significant this quality is, especially as adults, they will do great things! I have noticed that girls feel accomplished and of value when they complete a project or are given a task. (It does helps that girls multi-task extremely well).

Little Boys

     My boys, show love through touches, kisses, and hugs. It isn't enough to only know that I am present in the room, they need to be squished up against my arm or sitting on my lap with their arms around my neck. These are the moments I love, while I remind myself to slow down with my daily tasks to spend precious moments with them.

     Little boys talk when it's necessary. For the most part, my boys only talk when they need something specific. I have noticed that one of my sons becomes much louder when my daughter is in the room. It is almost like he needs to compete with the noise, but when she isn't in the room, he's pretty quiet (unless he's in the middle of a wrestling match with his brother).

     The most important thing I have learned about boys is that they need to play, and play in a boyish type of way. This type of play isn't necessarily my forte, as I don't really care to wrestle or be wild, but it is important for them to do this together. Luckily, my husband loves to wrestle!


Boys and Girls

     Boys and Girls each have their unique qualities and different ways in which they show love and need to be loved. Interestingly, girls really never outgrow their desire to serve and care for others, while boys never really outgrow their love to "play". They all grow up to be adults, but their desires remain the same. These desires only grow with them - women learn to serve others, whether through their job or in their family, while men "play" either with their tools, sports, or friends. It's beautiful how boys and girls desire different forms of love.