Letting Go of My Organized Life

There are so many phases of life and each one brings many changes and unforeseen circumstances. Growing up, small children dream of adulthood, and they envision the thought of getting older to be fun and adventurous, and even though there is some truth to this, there is definitely not that level of carefree blindness that many anticipate.

My whole life has been planned, pretty much by myself, it's just my personality. This is a strong characteristic of my choleric temperament. I love to plan my days, my weekends, and even envision the next five years. Yes, I am one of those nerds who enjoys buying a pocket calendar and happily keeps a record of each upcoming month. Prior to four children this portable calendar probably wasn't necessary, but now it is a crucial part of my day, no longer just a cute accessory. Honestly, how could anyone keep an entire family's schedule only in their head?

Lily Pulitzer Calendar

My overly scheduled A-type personality, brought quite an adjustment into adulthood, in more particular, motherhood. I am not referring to the transition from college into a career, because those were the glory years. That was a time when I could try new things, enjoy my life with my husband. Those "honeymoon" years brought beautiful children, the opportunity to stay home with the kiddos, and many other exciting adventures. The difficulty came when I realized that it was impossible to plan out my life. Extremely structured schedules were just not possible with many small children. Schedules were needed with the children, but flexibility was paramount. My once perfectly planned schedule was now a thing of the past. I was only trying to stay above the rising tide and sometimes completely forgot about that little pocket calendar, until I missed an important appointment or meeting. A bit of humility never hurt anyone...

It was at this same time that I realized I needed to let go. Life was hard, really hard with small children, but neither would I trade any of it for the whole world, not even for my perfectly organized pocket calendar. I didn't need to be organized or right on schedule, even though it still drives me bananas when we are running late. What I needed was to start enjoying the life. A life full of chaos, happiness, frustrations, and pure exhaustion. This was the good life and it was only until I let go of that little pocket calendar (an overly structured schedule) that life began to have more meaning. I was able to focus more on my husband and my family, instead of the plans for the weekend. My daughter has this "planner" type of personality, which is a great trait, but I have also reminded her (and myself) that it's important to be flexible and let go!

Schedules, Childhood, & Newborns

It has been a busy week at our house, with the birth of Baby #4. We brought him home to the other Little Ones, and began adjusting our lives around his schedule. Perfect example, this post was planned to go up on Thursday and here we are days later...  It is to be expected, since the schedule of a newborn is never in line with that of the parents or siblings. It's amazing how such a little person can take control of the entire household just with his cries. Isn't it a beautiful thing that a baby can command a room? Beautiful and tiring!

When I was pregnant with Baby #1, everyone had an opinion on how to get that little bundle of joy on a strict schedule. Whether it was a feeding schedule, a diaper changing schedule, or a sleep schedule. The funny thing is that I never really cared to hear about these schedules, partly because I'm super stubborn and I don't want other people to tell me what to do, but mostly because I knew these schedules wouldn't last past the first few weeks. (Even that is probably a stretch). It just seemed common sense to me that babies will eat when they are hungry, poop when needed, and sleep when they are tired, just like adults. Why would we expect babies to be any different from adults? It's a bit laughable that parenting "experts" expect a baby to mold their schedules with ours. When it really needs to be the opposite, at least for the early months. Now, it won't always be this way, but the first several weeks, even months, is all about that little bundle of joy, and that's a good thing. Those early weeks are some of the most precious moments for bonding.


We have the rest of our lives to be on a schedule. Instead of forcing our infants, or even toddlers, to get on a schedule, let's enjoy those haphazard moments with them, because pretty soon they will be in school. It can be pretty difficult to let go of our daily routines, especially for those who have A-Type Personalities, like myself. I don't like to be late for anything, actually most of my clocks are set 10 minutes fast, because I prefer to be early (Vince Lombardi Time), and I love "to-do lists". I am very much a planner, but children, especially newborns make all those schedules and lists seem so silly. Ultimately, they really aren't that important if we are choosing to finish housework vs. spend time with our children. (Yes, I know, the housework needs to get done at some point...) It definitely took me awhile to get used to this thought pattern, not that I have mastered it by any means. (I still hate being late!) I have, however, learned to let go more as we welcomed more children into our family. Surprisingly, I have begun to enjoy life and the craziness of the children more as I stopped trying to control every aspect of our world. Who would've thought that it has actually become a relief to no longer be in control of everything.

Baptism Weekend!