When It's Time To Accept The Change Of The Seasons

This past weekend was more difficult than I expected. It has been almost 10 years since I founded my floral design company. This business was truly a work of the heart as I built it from the ground up, mostly by word-of-mouth. Those personal referrals were the best. I had never been formally trained in flowers, but I realized quickly that I loved working with them. What better job than designing a masterpiece out of God's beautiful creations? But as my husband and I welcomed more children into the family, my time became limited, and instead of enjoying my life as a mom, I was becoming frustrated with the little ones and frustrated with my lack of time to design flowers. I shouldn't be surprised anymore by God's sense of humor, because just when my business was exploding, I decided through many hard lessons, that it was time to close the doors. I needed to focus on the little ones and their needs above the needs of my brides. These days and years are just so short, I don't want to miss these crazy moments!

I truly admire the women who can do it all - the family, the career, the social life, and personal time, but I am just not one of those women. I can definitely stretch myself thin and still survive, but I don't want that type of life. So I have learned that through every phase in life, it is time to accept some things and give up others and right now I choose to give up my entrepreneurial aspirations for my family - except my writing, I need my writing! It was difficult to let go, especially since I can be a controlling person, but I can always start up the company again in the future. Nothing needs to be final, after all, there are so many phases in life. Just like the season for apple picking (which we did over the weekend). All fruits and vegetables have their own special seasons, so do the seasons of our lives. Change is good - it's just difficult to accept sometimes!

It was difficult for me to give up a company I had worked so hard to grow, but it was time. I can still get my flower design fix by creating arrangements for our church, but I do have a sense of relief that there will be no more weddings in my near future. Instead, I will have much more time with the family, sewing my quilts (a hobby I haven't tapped into for many years), time for school functions, church events, and of course, my writing. Ultimately, if I am not working towards the good of my entire family, then I am working towards nothing, because my greatest gifts are my husband and my children and if I don't treasure them first, then nothing else matters.

Monday is Momday - Thanks to Cat & Nat!

Thanks to the fabulous moms who invented the hilarious #MOMTRUTH Fridays (or is it Friyays, am I too old to say that?), Cat & Nat, I decided to share a bit of their humor from this morning's live video. Did you know that Mondays are now Momdays? Thank you, Ladies, for my new favorite day of the week!

Cat & Nat

Photo Credit: Facebook Profile

• Momdays are now the days that I can drink as many cups of coffee, without guilt, just to survive the heaping loads of laundry that have piled from who knows where over the weekend.

• Momdays are now the days that I will never get a nap in, because my two year old still has energy leftover from the weekend.

• Momdays are now the days that I just want to sit and eat cookies, but my 11 month old needs to nurse and snuggle... I can't resist that. Afterthought, I should eat cookies and nurse!

• Momdays are now the days I wake up earlier to pack the kids' lunches, because for some reason, I just can't get my act together on a Sunday night. Drink wine with my husband and watch Netflix or pack lunches, what would you choose?

• Momdays are now the days that I need at eat at least 6 meals, because all weekend was spent on my feet with the four little ones and I forgot that food gets me through those days.

• Momdays are now the days that the refrigerator needs to be restocked, because grocery shopping on the weekend is for the birds!

• Momdays are the days that I must suffer through a whining 2 year old, who found his pacifier over the weekend and kept it in his pocket. Now it's time to take it away, again, for the third week in a row...

• Momdays are the the days that I have all the best intentions to keep my meal plan schedule. Don't ask about it by Wednesday night. Anyone want Mac & Cheese?

• Momdays are the days that I pray for little homework, because it's the only night without activities or family commitments. Family dinners are always chaotic, but one of my favorite times of the day! Yes, please!

• Momdays are sometimes the saddest days, because I only have two out of the four children at home with me.

• Momdays are now my favorite day, because at the start of every new week I get to wake up my sleeping children to give them kisses and I am so grateful for this awesome vocation called, MOTHERHOOD!

And that's my Momday Monday! Enjoy your week!

The Innocence of Motherhood

I watch my seven year old daughter everyday as she tries to do everything "mother-like", as she talks about becoming a mom one day. This firecracker child of mine describes into great detail how she will organize her children's playroom, or what food she will cook for them and I can't help but smile. I love the innocence. Looking back, I had this same innocence at her age. I loved the thought of staying home and caring for my family. Of course, I had no idea what was truly involved with this scenario, but I was just like her - dreaming of motherhood. I would play house everyday, even several times a day, with my younger brothers. I was always the mother, just like my little girl.

Megan Ramminger Photography

Now, as I watch her play and talk about being a mom, I realized that I have tainted my own idea of motherhood and I need to return to those innocent days. Not that it will ever be the same as "playing house", but why can't I have fun daydreaming about my children's future playroom in the house we are going to build, or why can't I love to cook dinner, just like I did when I was 14 years old? Life doesn't have to be full of meaningless and dreadful tasks. Instead of shuddering at the thought of doing a load of laundry or making beds, I need to go back to those days of innocence.

The horrors of the world and adulthood may have tainted my view of motherhood for a bit, but it won't take precedence anymore. I am determined to go back to those beautiful days of motherhood. This approach won't make my work load any lighter, but it will make it more enjoyable for myself and my family. So instead of allowing myself to get caught up in this fast-paced world, I am choosing to spend my moments with my family. This beautiful innocence of motherhood will now be part of my life once again.

Instagram @daniellemarieangelina

Letting Go of My Organized Life

There are so many phases of life and each one brings many changes and unforeseen circumstances. Growing up, small children dream of adulthood, and they envision the thought of getting older to be fun and adventurous, and even though there is some truth to this, there is definitely not that level of carefree blindness that many anticipate.

My whole life has been planned, pretty much by myself, it's just my personality. This is a strong characteristic of my choleric temperament. I love to plan my days, my weekends, and even envision the next five years. Yes, I am one of those nerds who enjoys buying a pocket calendar and happily keeps a record of each upcoming month. Prior to four children this portable calendar probably wasn't necessary, but now it is a crucial part of my day, no longer just a cute accessory. Honestly, how could anyone keep an entire family's schedule only in their head?

Lily Pulitzer Calendar

My overly scheduled A-type personality, brought quite an adjustment into adulthood, in more particular, motherhood. I am not referring to the transition from college into a career, because those were the glory years. That was a time when I could try new things, enjoy my life with my husband. Those "honeymoon" years brought beautiful children, the opportunity to stay home with the kiddos, and many other exciting adventures. The difficulty came when I realized that it was impossible to plan out my life. Extremely structured schedules were just not possible with many small children. Schedules were needed with the children, but flexibility was paramount. My once perfectly planned schedule was now a thing of the past. I was only trying to stay above the rising tide and sometimes completely forgot about that little pocket calendar, until I missed an important appointment or meeting. A bit of humility never hurt anyone...

It was at this same time that I realized I needed to let go. Life was hard, really hard with small children, but neither would I trade any of it for the whole world, not even for my perfectly organized pocket calendar. I didn't need to be organized or right on schedule, even though it still drives me bananas when we are running late. What I needed was to start enjoying the life. A life full of chaos, happiness, frustrations, and pure exhaustion. This was the good life and it was only until I let go of that little pocket calendar (an overly structured schedule) that life began to have more meaning. I was able to focus more on my husband and my family, instead of the plans for the weekend. My daughter has this "planner" type of personality, which is a great trait, but I have also reminded her (and myself) that it's important to be flexible and let go!

Give A Little Love

Author: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

Take a moment to smile and change the world - any small act of love. Last week I took all four children to the grocery store (I know that's pretty crazy, right?) and typically my older two like to color pictures and give them as "gifts" to the unsuspecting check-out person. Well, at first I was irritated with myself because I chose the aisle with the crabby lady who wouldn't crack a smile. My first thought: oh great, she's going to ignore the pictures and the children will be upset. Note to self - address the situation later in the car. Luckily, my children didn't notice her mood right away and enthusiastically handed her the colored pictures. The woman apprehensively grabbed the folded papers and assumed they were garbage. She was about to throw them away, but I explained the children made presents for her...and then I waited for her reaction...you will never believe it, but her entire mood changed. The lady loved the pictures and was extremely chatty and kind to the children after receiving the gifts. These little ones who were so excited to color a picture for the check-out person (even though they didn't know her) completely turned this lady's day around. I’m sure every nearby shopper heard my huge sigh of relief.

This experience reaffirmed my belief that adults are jaded (yes, none of us are exempt). We rely too much on our emotions and creating lasting impressions. Adults are self-centered. We truly need to become more like little children and give ourselves completely to the happiness of others. I have heard many people question the deterioration of their own sanity by giving all of themselves to others. Let's be honest, society constantly asks the same selfish questions day in and day out. "What have you done for yourself today?" "How will you reward yourself?" It starts again with the uncontrollable reward system. Let's look at this from a different point of view. It's about time that we love for the sake of loving and helping for the sake of offering unconditional love. Working together, we can create a unified community. The more love and attention I give to my children and husband, the less I focus on myself and interestingly enough, I am transported into a sublime state of happiness. My love has grown leaps and bounds for my family over the years. The more children we have, and the more I dedicate my entire being to the welfare of my family, the more I love them all. There’s an amazing never-ending supply of love. Don't reserve that love for only close family and friends (even though they greatly deserve it), but spread it to all.

We will never regret loving another person, even if they aren't receptive, but there will definitely be regrets if we never try. So, instead of "paying it forward" only around Christmas time or a few moments a year when social media reminds us; it's time to give ourselves (all of ourselves) everyday. Every person deserves to be loved – family, friends, and strangers. We are social beings who desire love, so let's unconditionally give that love, while also raising our children to do the same, because ultimately, what is life without love?

Bucket List of Unconditional Love

ü  Invite a friend/family member over for dinner who is lonely.

ü  Bake your favorite cookies and drop them off at a neighbor’s house.

ü  Pick a handful of flowers and visit an elderly relative.

ü  Smile at a stranger everyday (you will never be happy in your own little bubble)/

ü  Enjoy every  moment with your family and friends. You will never get a repeat. Those closest to us are sometimes the most difficult to love, but all the more reason to show them respect.

Grateful Beyond Belief

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

Thank you! Thank you to everyone who has touched my life, even in a small way. Too often we go through life wishing for the next best thing. That's a tendency of human nature; the grass is always greener. It's unfortunate, because we forget to examine our current situations and the amazing gifts we have been given. With the start of summer vacation and three months of wonderful one-on-one time with the kiddos, I thought it was perfect timing to contemplate my life and those who have made an impact on me.

This morning I was in an area of the city that isn't the best, but I saw the most beautiful thing that almost made me cry. A father was holding his child (about 4-5 months old) and wrapped in a blanket with only his face showing, because it was chilly and rainy, while the dad was carrying a large bag, it might have contained the only items they owned. I didn't know where he was going, but he looked like he was on a mission. The father was very lovingly watching the child to make sure he was o.k., while also trying to not step in puddles and slip. This might not sound like much, but it was such a beautiful sign of love between a parent and child. A love that is missing in this world or hidden. We are so used to a love that only shows itself when it is self-serving. It didn't matter the economic or social conditions of this child and father, because they showed enough love and trust between the two of them.

Credit: Mother Letters

It made me think on the drive home, through the dreary weather, that the old cliche saying is true. "All you need is love". I know, I know, me of all people who doesn't care for the corny quotes. But I think we all have those moments in life when everything is going wrong, we aren't able to control or solve the problems, and have to wait for slow fixes. Then suddenly, something happens to show how each of our lives are intertwined with one another. We don't understand it all now and won't probably until after we die. It leaves us in a state of pure confusion, but also relief, knowing that everything has a reason and purpose. It truly does, because if it didn't, there would be no point to any of this.


Little does this father know that by walking down the street at that exact moment would create such a profound affect on another person. With that thought in mind, our every action is an example of good or hurt. How do we want to be perceived in the world?

After these deep reflections, in a quiet car before picking up the kids from school and the start of spring break... I knew that it was time to think more of others, and less of myself, which of course is hard with our natural self tendencies. To do more for others in small ways, ways that we won't see the effects, or be able to promote on social media, but ways that will create a better world for all. Then maybe someday, those actions will be shown to us like a puzzle, many little jumbled pieces put together to create a wonderful masterpiece.

I am grateful for a lot of things in life, but I am most grateful for my life and those near to me. The life that has been given to me with all the happiness, sorrows, thrills, adventures, friendships, family, and unsolvable problems. Because without each and everyone of these bits and pieces, it would not be my life. It might not make sense when I am going through the heartache or the celebrations, but no matter the event, each and every one of them have a sincere and utterly beautiful effect on my life and I am grateful that they have helped me develop a love and trust for myself, friends, family, and my children. Because what else matters in life than love?

When Times Get Tough, It's Time For Summer!

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

It’s time for summer love, summer vacation, and summer adventures - to let loose without looking back. Who doesn’t want to have fun in the sun? We long for those brief summer months here in Wisconsin, no matter how brief they may last. As cold weather Midwesterners, we crave the sun and heat after several long months of winter, and of course, we are ridiculously jealous of our Southern friends. But for some reason, we keep coming back for more - how have we not learned yet? It’s about time to move to a warmer climate, right? Take me to Charleston! Maybe Midwesterners prefer this self-inflicted torture. 

After months of intense dreariness, dark clouds, and dry winter temperatures dipping below zero, the thought of warm sun, beach sand, and not having to bundle up lifts our moodiness and brings a smile. Those foreboding winter months force many Wisconsinites to retreat into a warm house, sip hot chocolate, and read the latest issue of Vogue sitting before a roaring fire. This may sound enticing, but after several months, the monotony begins. Yes, those Instagram pictures are a bit overrated. Honestly, how much hot chocolate can one person drink?

Sometimes it’s difficult to believe we have four seasons in Wisconsin. Spring is only a slightly warmer version of winter. So we anxiously await those days of sun, when it doesn’t take an additional twenty minutes to leave the house because a mitten is lost, again. Those warm carefree days when we can spend any extra moment with friends, family, and working on our slightly embarrassing Northern tan. Yes, we aren’t as austere as some may claim, we can laugh at ourselves. It’s that one time of year, no matter where we live in this beautiful country of ours, that we can have fun and enjoy life. Summer gives us an excuse for a vacation, for making family memories, a time when we no longer focus solely on working, but on enjoying the simple pleasures of life.

Summer is that amazing time when the beach welcomes us no matter how cool the water may feel, a blended strawberry daiquiri tastes much better while lounging next to a pool, and a pair of sandals become a wardrobe staple. It’s the heat, the sweat, and the sunshine that somehow have us wanting more, the months are just too short. Maybe it’s because living in Wisconsin brings too many months of winter and not enough months of summer love. Everyone loves the freshness of spring and the anticipation of warm weather to come, but summer brings something extra special. Summer brings a place for new beginnings, a time for creating lasting memories, unlike any we have previously experienced. The summer months have provided some amazing, out of this world exploits. The type of memories that mold us into the people we are or who are about to become - similar to a true friend. Summer is a good lasting friendship. It forces us to take a step out of the norm, and enjoy this unknown world.

Friendship and summer have much more in common than anyone could imagine. The type of friendship we search for our entire lives, but oftentimes never find. We may have plenty of acquaintances, and even a few people we feel confident enough to share some of our deepest secrets. But finding that true everlasting friend, is like finding a needle in the haystack. Summer is full of confidence, unforgettable moments, adventures, and with an intense desire to indulge. It doesn’t matter how long one is parted from a true friend, the strong bond will return. Summer gives us promises of acceptance and forgiveness - those overwhelming hot days are cooled off by an intense evening thunderstorm.

There have been many great summers in my life, ones that involved goofy high school friends, others that included many late night college parties, but one of the best was shared with a good friend, actually a “best friend”. I have always felt a bit silly saying “best friend” since the term was used so freely in grade school, but maybe it’s also a bit odd because once we reach adulthood, a “best friend” is almost impossible to find. Luckily, I have been blessed with such a gift!

This “best friend” knows when to give a hug, when to make me laugh so hard I’m crying, and even though she may know my flaws, for some reason, she still chooses to overlook them. But friendship isn’t a one-way street. It involves a commitment, a lack of self-interest, with the desire to be a part of this person’s life through thick and thin. Just like the season of summer. After months of struggling through the doldrums of winter, the summer sun shines through those gloomy clouds, and all is well.  But if we don’t take a moment to enjoy the sun and venture outside, it is only another day. Everyone needs a best friend, especially women. We go through life judging ourselves, looking at every minute detail in the hopes of reaching ridiculous expectations. We are often the hardest on ourselves and this is where a best friend steps in, she knows when it is just too much and calms the storm. 

The season of summer may bring the expectations of swimsuit weather and all that comes with it, but it also gives us a reprieve from the storm - the winter storm. Somehow, just when we think it’s too much to live through another cloudy day, the summer sun finds its way through the clouds to lift our spirits. As my “best friend” often says, “When tough times come, you will find your true friends.”