Today is the Day!

Everyday is a day for new beginnings. A day to start a new adventure. Well, today is the day that Katy and I are beginning another new adventure, and that new wild ride is the start of our blog, Kate and Danielle! This year has definitely been a year for new beginnings, the start of phases in life for both of us together as friends, business partners, and on our own personal levels. This mix of ups and downs, sideways hurdles, and top over bottom turn-overs has warranted the start of this blog. A place where we can write not only as business owners and partners, but a place where we can come mostly as friends, mothers and women to express our concerns, our love for life, our passion for business, and our children!

@MeganRammingerPhotography

@MichelleCascioPhotography

For those of you who don't know me, my sweet husband and I are expecting baby #4 in the next couple weeks. Yes, our lives are a bit crazy right now, but in the best way possible. I have been extremely blessed with a man who is manly in every sense of the word, knows how to care for our family, patiently loves our children, and adores me though all my faults (and yes, I have a lot of them). Our dear daughter, the oldest, is such a huge help and loves to be right in the middle of planning, organizing, and sometimes bossing the other boys around. The boys, well they are boys. They are full of life, energy, with the desire to explore, climb, play in the dirt, and just be boys, which is such a joy to watch them approach life much differently than their sister. 

#1 and #3

After working a full-time legal job, my husband and I decided it was best for our family that I stay home after the birth of our first child. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made, after marrying dear hubby, of course! :) Being a stay-at-home mom isn't an easy job, nor is it the toughest one either, just like many others, it has challenges, but I have found throughout the years that these challenges are extremely rewarding, more than I could've ever imagined. I find new hurdles and yet new rewards each day from my vocation and I wouldn't ask for anything different!

Katy (best friend and business partner) and I have always loved a new challenge and have definitely had our fair share, even sometimes seeking them out ourselves...don't ask! We have accomplished a lot over the years, including writing a book, and having it published in 2013 (Provocative Manners: The Sauce of Life), planning events together (she's the event planner and I have owned a specialty floral company for 9 years), organizing moms groups, and this year opening an art studio in the Milwaukee Metro area, but most importantly we have become the dearest of friends. I view her as the sister I never had and I have been most fortunate that our paths crossed just at the right time. We compliment each other extremely well, to the point where most people don't understand it. Katy has become a friend who I can count on through thick or thin, not only in the everyday happiness and struggles of life, but someone who has every bit of my best interest at heart. 

I apologize, this post has become much longer than I anticipated, but at least I filled it with fun pictures, right? I truly hope you follow us as Katy and I pave the way through our busy lives as mothers and business women. I hope to keep it light-hearted, but also touch on topics close to many of us as wives, mothers, friends, career women, and how to get through this beautiful world as gifted human beings. Follow us, as we juggle and love our lives each week, just like all women dreaming, searching, and living through those everyday adventures!

Facts About Me!

Favorite Things:

My husband and children (the loves of my life), bedtime for the little ones and spending quality time with my husband (sans kids), warm cups of coffee (yes, I may have an addiction), old movies (especially musicals, I can't get enough of Easter Parade or Singing in the Rain), sushi, spicy Portuguese dishes, all sweets (well, I guess I am a food lover!), and the ability to help others in need.

Pet Peeves:

Having to stop for gas (I know, I know, this can't be helped), looking for lost soccer gear and dance shoes (I give up!), re-folding the same basket of clothes for a 2nd or 3rd time in a day), chewing with one's mouth open (I sound like a broken record at the dinner table with the kids), chipped nail polish, and lack of common-sense.

First Celebrity Crush:

Fred Astaire, Cary Grant, and Gregory Peck! What can I say, I have a thing for the oldies but the goodies?

Go-To Drink:

Red wine (specifically a fabulous Pinot Noir) or Tequila Sunrise for cocktails.

Favorite Books:

Hands-down Pride & Prejudice, I'm a huge Jane Austen fan in every sense of the word. After that, I have a long list, way too long to list now. A short list would include anything written by Wilkie Collins, Charles Dickens, Margaret Atwood, Cecila Ahern, Willa Cather, and Agatha Christie.

Welcome to the Kate and Danielle Blog

Love, Friendships, and Appreciation

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!

Good friends are hard to find and an everlasting love is even harder to find! But what makes a good friend?  Did it ever occur to you that a good friend needs to start with yourself and maybe, just maybe, you will then find that amazing person who will be there with you through thick and thin. Because isn't it true that people with similar characteristics are drawn to each other? So, are you a good friend? Are people drawn to you?

cupcake diaries blog

• A good friend is never in the relationship for their own personal gain. Yes, we all want someone to talk with, to laugh with and to just be ourselves with, but I don't consider that personal gain as long as you desire the same for the other person. 

• Friends put their friends first! It's called devotion, dedication, compromise. We all have to learn these behaviors as adults, whether it's in the workplace, at home with our spouse, or with our family, but why do people think that this shouldn't exist within a friendship? It shouldn't matter where or how you and your friends spend time together, it just matters that you are together!

etsy

• Take it easy. If you remember that it isn't all about you, it will make the relationship that much smoother. Friendships should never be exhausting, dramatic, or hurtful. We aren't in high school anymore, so it's time to weed out those bad, toxic friends.

• Love your friends. Appreciate their virtues and their vices. You should want to do everything in your power to be there for the people near and dear to you. Everyone desires a happy life, so why not work each day to make the lives of those you love a little bit happier, easier, and above all filled with LOVE! Because all we need is love, right?

living on love and cents

Celebrating New Years and Staying Classy

New Year's Eve is one of the most celebratory times of the the year. As women, we get to bring out that most fabulous sequin dress for a fun dinner out on the town or it's the time were we can showcase our home with fabulous cheeses, decadent desserts and of course a bubbly bar stacked with champagne! We all want to have a great time, but that doesn't mean it's time to let your guard down and become a sloppy drunk.

Five ways to celebrate, but keeping it classy!

1.   Slow It Down. Don't race towards the finish line. Enjoy your drinks. It may be New Years, but the faster you drink, the quicker your night will end with you feeling horrible!

2.   Know Your Limit. Keep your drinks within two glasses of your limit. Try not switch between wine, beer, mixed drinks and shots (this is never a good idea). Everyone wants a good buzz, but do you really want to be throwing up in an unknown bathroom before the clock strikes midnight?

ribbons

3.   Act the Part. Sometimes it can be more fun to pretend that you're drunk rather than actually being drunk. You're friends don't have to know that your playing a part, but if you can pull this off you will have more fun throughout the night, while remembering everyone else's stupidity. You might even have some fabulous stories to tell your friends the next day!

4.   Full Stomachs and Hydration. Munch on appetizers throughout the night if possible. Please don't drink on an empty stomach, you won't make it past the first hour. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Yes, we know you aren't working out, but if you drink water while enjoying that second glass of champagne, this will help with any potential hangover the next day.

5.   PARTY LIKE IT'S 2015! Most importantly, enjoy your night with the friends and family you love! New Years is all about celebrating the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly from the previous year while welcoming in the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly for the upcoming year. Because let's be honest, as much as we want the New Year to be the best year ever, there's no guarantees so let's take the good, with the bad, and HAVE A PARTY!

Love the Journey!

How will you love the journey and enjoy the present moment?

36th Avenue

Anonymous #1 said that she went through her winter clothes and gave away as many coats, hats, scarves, and gloves that she could spare to a local homeless shelter. How wonderful!

Anonymous #2 put together "survival bags" for the homeless that stand on the street corners near their office. They included a pair of warm socks, trail mix with dried fruit, toothpaste and tooth brush, hand warmers, and a scarf. How thoughtful!

Anonymous #3 decided to give up shopping for unnecessary items and she was able to save over $200 since the beginning of December! She plans on donating the money to a local charity! What a blessing!

These are just a few of the wonderful things our readers are doing during the 24 Day Challenge to better themselves during #occupyadvent. You have ten days left before Christmas. How do you plan on spending it?

Here's a poem that was shared with us by a reader, enjoy!

ENJOY THE PRESENT MOMENT

We make them cry who care for us.

We cry for those who never care for us.

And we care for those who will never cry for us.

This is the truth of life, it's strange but true.

Once you realize this, it's never too late to change.

Don't let someone become a priority in your life,

When you are just an option in their life...

Relationships work best when they are balanced.

Never explain yourself to anyone.

Because the person who likes you doesn't need it,

and the person who dislikes you won't believe it.

When you keep saying you are busy,

then you are never free.

When you keep saying you have no time,

then you will never have time.

When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow,

then your tomorrow will never come.

When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices.

Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams.

Choice is yours...

Don't make promises when you are in joy.

Don't reply when you are sad.

Don't make decisions when you are angry.

Think twice...Act Wise.

Time is like a river.

You cannot touch the same water twice,

because the flow that has passed will never pass again.

Enjoy every moment of life...

First I was dying to finish my high school and start college.

And then I was dying to finish college and start working.

Then I was dying to marry and have children.

And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work.

But then I was dying to retire.

And now I'm dying.

And suddenly I realized I forgot to live.

Please don't let this happen to you.

Appreciate your current situation and enjoy each day!

#OccupyAdvent: A 24 Day Challenge

Who hasn't heard of the 30 day challenges swarming all areas of social media? It seems like every month there's a new one popping up, whether it's an exercise challenge, a healthy eating challenge, or a clothing challenge. These are all good, but today, the Ladies of Provocative Manners would like to challenge you to a special 24 day challenge and it's the perfect time of year to begin! With the season of Advent and Christmas upon us, it is time that we re-examine ourselves internally and externally. The purpose of the #OccupyAdvent 24 day Challenge is to help you simplify your everyday life while using those benefits to pay it forward through charity to others. You have 24 days! How will you spend each day?

ramblingrenovators

Every week we will be sharing some experiences of our readers during this #OccupyAdvent Challenge. Don't worry, if we choose to share your story, it will be anonymous. Feel free to send us your Challenge "stories" to provocativemanners@yahoo.com, on our Facebook Personal Page, or our Business Page.

Here are the guidelines for the #OccupyAdvent 24 Day Challenge. Remember that the purpose of this is to improve ourselves, assist those around us, and prepare us for Christmas. These are only guidelines, adjust them to accommodate your lifestyle.

1. Contemplate the Meaning of Christmas.

     This time of year isn't only about ourselves, family, friends or even strangers. This time of year is about the birth of Christ. How are you preparing for His Birthday? Without Him, this season would not exist, so let's show some thanks!

2. Simplify Your Life. 

      This may include limiting your access to social media and increasing time within your day for reading, organizing, or helping others. You know better than anyone what consumes your time and yet doesn't have much merit. Spend more time with family and friends, these are the moments that you will remember when you get older and the kids are grown. Don't have regrets!

3. Don't Purchase Anything You Don't NEED!

     Yes, we know this is difficult this time of year, but our consumerism mentality is overbearing. (Maybe this is one of the reasons I cannot stand Black Friday, or Black Saturday, or Cyber Monday...) For me, it will be difficult to drive past Starbucks without a Skinny Peppermint Mocha, but instead of spending the money there, I can donate food to the local pantry or purchase gifts for families in need. That cup of Peppermint Mocha will be so much more enjoyable on December 26th by waiting!

4. Internal and External Silence.

     We all have loud, busy, chaotic lives 12 months out of the year. Maybe these 24 days we can occupy ourselves internally and externally with moments of silence. Take a few minutes out of each day, even 5 minutes to sit in silence. Don't try to plan your next party, or dwell on all the gifts you have to purchase, but enjoy those moments of silence. They are more important than you realize.

5. Keep Perspective - Pay it Forward

     Charity is the highest form of respect for others. Whether you give a meal to the homeless man standing on the corner or choose to give your waiter an extra percentage of a well-earned tip, these are the moments that make living worth while, because for once you are not making it about yourself. The most important thing to remember: don't brag about it. Once you tell the world your inner most actions, those beautiful forms of charity begin to loose bits of their luster.

Take Control of Your #OccupyAdvent 24 Day Challenge! 

How will you push yourself to be a better you?

     

95.7 KJR

Constructive Criticism v. Destructive Criticism

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

How do you deal with criticism?

Is there a certain type of personality that deals with criticism better than others?

We all know that critical opinions are a fact of life and oftentimes they can be given in a charitable and constructive way, but then again they can also be used as a defense or barrier for others to hide behind. We are all willing to dish out the critical comments, but more times than not, it is extremely difficult to acknowledge them, let alone accept them.

It is a trait of human beings to pounce on any and every opportunity when it comes to judging others. It either makes us feel better about ourselves or helps us justify our actions by comparing and  contrasting our virtues and vices. It should not be this way! It is easy to dish out the critical comments but it is another thing to accept them as constructive.

There is definitely a difference between constructive and destructive criticism. A person who has secure beliefs and a high level of self-esteem will be able to notice the difference. They will be able to take those constructive comments and put them to good use by improving any mistakes, but those who are unwilling to appreciate such well-meant opinions will struggle for the rest of their lives barely floating above the tide.

Four Ways to Determine Whether a Criticism is Constructive or Destructive

1.  If the comment made critically points out personal flaws of a person only with the intention to showcase failures then this is destructive criticism.

2. If the feelings of other people are not part of the consideration process when expressing an opinion, then it is most definitely destructive criticism. 

3. If the opinions are charitable, but firm, then this correction has validity and is a form of constructive criticism.

4.  If the comment makes a suggestion and then provides a tangible solution, it is an excellent form of constructive criticism.