Constructive Criticism v. Destructive Criticism

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

How do you deal with criticism?

Is there a certain type of personality that deals with criticism better than others?

We all know that critical opinions are a fact of life and oftentimes they can be given in a charitable and constructive way, but then again they can also be used as a defense or barrier for others to hide behind. We are all willing to dish out the critical comments, but more times than not, it is extremely difficult to acknowledge them, let alone accept them.

It is a trait of human beings to pounce on any and every opportunity when it comes to judging others. It either makes us feel better about ourselves or helps us justify our actions by comparing and  contrasting our virtues and vices. It should not be this way! It is easy to dish out the critical comments but it is another thing to accept them as constructive.

There is definitely a difference between constructive and destructive criticism. A person who has secure beliefs and a high level of self-esteem will be able to notice the difference. They will be able to take those constructive comments and put them to good use by improving any mistakes, but those who are unwilling to appreciate such well-meant opinions will struggle for the rest of their lives barely floating above the tide.

Four Ways to Determine Whether a Criticism is Constructive or Destructive

1.  If the comment made critically points out personal flaws of a person only with the intention to showcase failures then this is destructive criticism.

2. If the feelings of other people are not part of the consideration process when expressing an opinion, then it is most definitely destructive criticism. 

3. If the opinions are charitable, but firm, then this correction has validity and is a form of constructive criticism.

4.  If the comment makes a suggestion and then provides a tangible solution, it is an excellent form of constructive criticism. 

Are You a Distracted Person?

Live Life with a Purpose: The Perfect Day!

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” 

― Eleanor Roosevelt

We all have busy lives that revolve around one or many different aspects of our life, whether it's family, friends, children, husbands or our careers, but oftentimes we forget to look at life on a broader scale. Oftentimes we miss saying hello to a neighbor because we are in a rush to leave the house and get the kids to school, or we spend an entire luncheon on our phones instead of having a constructive conversation with family, and even at work we get so caught up in our responsibilities and shut ourselves off from our co-workers by spending the entire day at our computers with headphones on and never say "Good Morning" or "Have a Nice Evening".

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” 

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

These actions which may not begin as intentional will increase and multiply like a bad habit. They will become part of who we are and our daily routines, which is truly unfortunate, because we are meant to be social beings. We thrive on social contact and interaction. Yes, I know that not everyone is an extrovert (Sanguine or Choleric Temperaments), but even introverts (Melancholics or Phlegmatic Temperaments) need those moment of social stimulation, even if it's a smile and a quick "hello" or sending a card in the mail to a friend, or enjoying a cup of coffee with family while the kids are running around crazy. No matter the case, we all deserve to receive social etiquette from others, but we also must remember that it is absolutely necessary for us to initiate it as well!

So, it's time to get off of our phones, open our eyes to the desires of others and begin to live life with a purpose!