Schedules, Childhood, & Newborns

It has been a busy week at our house, with the birth of Baby #4. We brought him home to the other Little Ones, and began adjusting our lives around his schedule. Perfect example, this post was planned to go up on Thursday and here we are days later...  It is to be expected, since the schedule of a newborn is never in line with that of the parents or siblings. It's amazing how such a little person can take control of the entire household just with his cries. Isn't it a beautiful thing that a baby can command a room? Beautiful and tiring!

When I was pregnant with Baby #1, everyone had an opinion on how to get that little bundle of joy on a strict schedule. Whether it was a feeding schedule, a diaper changing schedule, or a sleep schedule. The funny thing is that I never really cared to hear about these schedules, partly because I'm super stubborn and I don't want other people to tell me what to do, but mostly because I knew these schedules wouldn't last past the first few weeks. (Even that is probably a stretch). It just seemed common sense to me that babies will eat when they are hungry, poop when needed, and sleep when they are tired, just like adults. Why would we expect babies to be any different from adults? It's a bit laughable that parenting "experts" expect a baby to mold their schedules with ours. When it really needs to be the opposite, at least for the early months. Now, it won't always be this way, but the first several weeks, even months, is all about that little bundle of joy, and that's a good thing. Those early weeks are some of the most precious moments for bonding.


We have the rest of our lives to be on a schedule. Instead of forcing our infants, or even toddlers, to get on a schedule, let's enjoy those haphazard moments with them, because pretty soon they will be in school. It can be pretty difficult to let go of our daily routines, especially for those who have A-Type Personalities, like myself. I don't like to be late for anything, actually most of my clocks are set 10 minutes fast, because I prefer to be early (Vince Lombardi Time), and I love "to-do lists". I am very much a planner, but children, especially newborns make all those schedules and lists seem so silly. Ultimately, they really aren't that important if we are choosing to finish housework vs. spend time with our children. (Yes, I know, the housework needs to get done at some point...) It definitely took me awhile to get used to this thought pattern, not that I have mastered it by any means. (I still hate being late!) I have, however, learned to let go more as we welcomed more children into our family. Surprisingly, I have begun to enjoy life and the craziness of the children more as I stopped trying to control every aspect of our world. Who would've thought that it has actually become a relief to no longer be in control of everything.

Baptism Weekend!

Mommy Meltdown

The Mommy Meltdown.

Are we allowed to have a meltdown?

If so, when?

How to have a Mommy Meltdown?

...and Why?

Oh the joys of a Mommy Meltdown....Do you have them, because I most certainly do not ever have them.............in public that is. Wink wink.....

Ok, so you are mom, we are living the dream or least trying to to live it. We get up each day, make lunches for school, clean the house, raise the kids, go to work etc.... We do a lot. So every once in awhile it catches up with us. No..... it literally hits you in the face like the frying pan hit Flynn Ryder in Tangled. Right?

Life can be tough at times and occasionally we are going to loose it...Mommy Meltdown! But do any of you have those perfect friends that you are positively sure never meltdown? I thought I did, actually I have even been accused of never having a meltdowns........Blahahaha! News Flash!!! Every mom has had them! Some just "hide" it better! 

Social media has been awesome but it has it's downfalls...the venting status... I have completely been guilty of the venting status or hashtag. The ones where you are needing to vent and an adult human is not nearby so you vent online. Well mamas not the best idea. That venting is just a scream to let people judge you. How many of you are nodding your head right now agreeing with me. Yup, I thought so!

I have learn from my very wise mom, that if you have a meltdown, vent quickly. Vent quickly? Wait I should not have a giant pity, cry your eyes until you are puffy, in need of chocolate, where is the wine meltdown? Well what is the fun in that? Hahaha!!!! Vent quickly for me means, calling mom or my best friend and venting for two minutes and then it is their turn to vent for two minutes. Yes only two minutes! Does it help, you betcha. Why? Because half the time when you are having a mommy meltdown you just need a listening board, no comments,  just someone that you can trust to listen!

Seriously, the two minute venting thing is great, try it and you will see. 

Why only two minutes....well because if you vent for any more time, you will allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself and who has time for that. Wink!

So while I think is completely human to have a mommy meltdown and sometimes even on a regular basis, we gotta keep it together. Why? Because we are moms and if we do not keep it together who will!

Have a lovely meltdown-free day!

Katy

Being a mother of daughters..... raising Feminists..the right kind!

So I have two beautiful daughters, Rosie and Ava. Some mothers are gifted with children that have the same temperaments or similar personalities, which is lovely. My two girlies could not be more different from one another, which is a complete blessing and curse all in one. But guess what peeps.....I am raising feminists...oh no...you are thinking to yourself....she is actually admitting she is raising feminists!

The Merriam-Webster dictionary states

Full Definition of FEMINISM

1

:  the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 

2

:  organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests

So YES I am raising feminists....strong females that will be leaders and role models in a society that so badly needs real feminists!!!

Females that do not want to be like men...but are proud of being females and their feminine qualities. After all ladies, we make babies and men will never be able to do that! Boom!

As of right now my Rosie wants to be a nurse like her Aunt and/or Joan of Arc...well since Joan of Arc died at the old age of 19 and was burden at the stake, I am hoping that the nurse thing works out. But I am proud that she has pick role models/real feminists that are strong females. Females that wanted to make a difference in the world, leaders that had many failings but kept going and made a difference in society. Someone once said. "Society is as good as its women." Well ladies, time to woman up! 

Future Goofballs, Strongs Leaders and always my Daughters.

My Ava's role models/real feminists are Nana (my mom), Coco Chanel, (we watched a movie about her), and her piano teacher Mary Kate. If you only knew my mom, you would understand, she is the greatest leader I know. She leads with love...never anything else.  Coco Chanel, well born leader of fashion, enough said. As for Mary Kate the piano teacher, she is teaching Ava to be a leader through their love of music.

They are my heart.

So thanks a lot feminists of the 60s... you took off your bras, made femininity about having sex with the pill....which if you haven't realized yet...it is letting men have sex with you with no consequences... not just a baby, but no true connection, no anything of substances.... and feminists of the 60s you wanted to get equal wages to men...well I agree that it should be that way! However over 50 years later we are still fighting that battle.

Where are the Real Feminists that fight for women rights, their children, their families!!!!

On a final note, I am trying to be a Real Feminist, an example to my daughters and my son of what a true woman is. 

• I wear heels, dresses, jeans, and even "mom uniform- black yoga pants with the solid top"
• I can shoot a duck, clean it, and cook it in an amazing orange sauce
• I love dancing in the kitchen with my kids, drinking wine, and reading anything about the WWII
• I love to have parties and socialize for fun or for a passionate charities.
• I love being a mother, it is and will be my greatest accomplishment!
• I will be a leader to my children and help them achieve their goals.

My role models are Mary Magdalene- she made mistakes but got it right in the end, Rose Seitz- a woman that taught me to find love in everything, and another lovely woman named Mary- she is graceful leader, who taught me to always keep trying and the past is the past. 

So come on ladies, will you be a real feminists or keep letting other women determine your fate. 

This blog is dedicated the my role models and the Real feminists, past, present and future! Will you choose to make a difference while owning your femininity! Time to woman up!

Have a lovely day,

Katy

Please, Moms! It's Not A Competition - It's Life.

This past Monday, I was on The Morning Blend with another blogger, Amber from Milwaukee by Storm, and we were discussing the choices women make being stay-at-home moms vs. working moms with Molly Fay and Tiffany Ogle. This conversation stemmed from an article written by a mom who had chosen to stay home with her children and later regretted that decision because of her loss of time, income, and advancement in her field. It was a little difficult to relate to this woman in the sense that she felt her decision, made so many decades prior when her children were young, was the wrong decision. First of all, I have never been a person who dwells on regrets or past decisions, whether they were good or bad, because honestly, I cannot go back and change those choices. Second of all, I don’t view my job as a mom as a “hobby” (or something I just “wanted” to do, quoted by Lisa Endlich Heffernan), but as a vocation that I have chosen to accept and love through all the ups and downs. It’s through those ups and downs that I learn many lessons and in the end my goal by staying home is to raise morally good, honest, and up-standing citizens. This is why I view motherhood as a vocation, no matter whether you stay home or work, because it is our duty to raise not only our children, but to teach them how to eventually function in this world as adults when we are no longer here. For me, I believe it is in my best interest and the best interest of my family to stay home when the children are young and most needy, but this doesn’t work for everyone.

Now I am not saying that all women are meant to stay home with their children, but as moms (and as society in general) we need to learn that there shouldn’t be a competition with stones cast towards working moms vs. moms who stay home. The author of the article stated that she felt her decision to stay home with her children for so many years had “let down” countless women who had fostered the feminist movement in those generations prior towards breaking that glass ceiling. I don’t feel like I have “let down” any women from previous generations by choosing to stay home. I am appreciative for their fight to bring women into the workplace, but I also don’t think they would be happy knowing that we (as women) have pushed ourselves into a corner that no longer gives us the opportunity or dignity to stay home without feeling like a failure and having regrets. We have turned their social battle into a battle between mothers, mothers who work vs. mothers who stay home, and this is quite sad. The worst part is that us, as women, have created this battle amongst ourselves. It isn’t the men to blame, it is the women. Yes, those are strong words, but it is the truth. We, as women, have guilted ourselves about everything instead of making a choice, living with that choice, and learning to love our vocation no matter what it is, whether single, married, staying home, or being a working mom. 

There shouldn’t be categories or labels amongst us, we are all women, trying to do our best in this crazy world to succeed. The beauty of it all, is that we all have different definitions of success and we need to accept this philosophy. Some people view success in the terms of materialism, monetary gain, or personal achievement. While others view success upon family life, community involvement, and an interior personal growth without pomp and circumstance. Or you might view all of these as successful goals. Whatever your definition of success may be, it shouldn’t be questioned by others, especially if they don’t understand it. A woman may feel successful as she advances in her career and thereby receives a better pay check, but another woman may view her success based on her child's school play or having a home-cooked meal every night for a month, but none of these circumstances should be down-played, because they are crucial goals towards the development and harmony of society. We cannot all be successful in exactly the same way, just like we don’t all have the same God-given talents, which is the beauty and dignity of the human race.

I apologize for this ramble, but I do feel passionately about this topic, especially since I have seen women on both sides struggle with feelings of guilt, failure, lack of self-worth, and being overwhelmed in keeping up with societal expectations. It's time that we as women, especially moms, learn to appreciate each other through our faults and through our talents. We are all in this together, working tirelessly for our families, while trying to keep afloat. Instead of making this a competition between moms who work and moms who stay home, let's support each other through thick and thin, because we all are working to raise the next generation!

The amazing Amber from milwaukeebystorm.com. 

One of the guest bloggers hosting the Milwaukee Mommas' Night Out with Elm Grove Art!

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Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.

Not only is the title of this blog a great movie with Sophia Loren (love her) but it is also my kiddos! …cue the confused look on your face. 

Oh by the way this is a great time to go get a cup of coffee and something yummy to eat

I have three children, Cliff, Rosie and Ava and Today, Tomorrow and Yesterday describe my kids personalities.

Cliff is my oldest. At the old age of eight, he is my "Yesterday" personality. He brings up memories all the time, whether it was a toy he use to play with, a holiday party or even a book I read to him years ago. He also loves history, sometimes I wonder if he was born in the wrong generation? He is my old soul kid…don’t get me wrong he loves all the technical advances of today..I actually had to hide the Wii from him. He takes his role as the only male in the house very seriously….but loves it. Yesterday he told his sisters that he deserved more respect and then proceeded to try and conceive me that HE needed a man cave…keep dreaming kid.

My Cliff

Rosie is my middle child. She is seven going on twenty-six. She is a tiny version of myself when I was her age, she lives for tomorrow. So as my “Tomorrow" personality she is always asking…What are we doing tomorrow? She obviously needs to know so she can fill out her social calendar… She loves life and everything in it, the good the bad, the crazy and the ugly. If it is there, Rosie will love it. She only sees the good in people and if people let her down, she will forget and always give them another chance. She is my eternal optimist.

My Rosie

Ava is my baby that only wants today. She lives each and everyday to the fullest, she gives it her all. So as my "Today" personality she is also the brain of the family. I feel like her head is always calculating and evaluating all the situations she is in. Whether she is at the playground playing with her friends, or reading with me at home…she wants to experience it to the utmost. At five years old, she analyses everything and everyone…sometime to a fault. Lots of questions…most she usually answers herself.

As I said before I am single mom raising three kids….but sometimes I think they are raising me. What do I mean? Take a moment to see the world through your children’s eyes…..they see possibilities, they see fun and silliness, they see happiness. Some say they see this because they are naive…true…but I think they see the truth, and we adults have become so jaded with hardships of life that we do not always see it. There is an abundance of good in the world…just look through your children's eyes.

On a silly note….. my kids are no angels… they drive me crazy too and sometimes even gang up on me to the point I have to say out loud to myself… “I am the adult I am in charge!"… wait I am in charge???… I think I am in charge… no no no I am defiantly in charge.

Have the loveliest of days or at least attempt too,

Katy

Life is full of Glitter and Bubbles - A Reflection of Childhood.

Every job has multiple ups and downs, stressful moments and moments of excitement, but I would have to say that motherhood is probably one of those jobs with the most unpredictable situations. These aren't just those random days once a month or once a week that take us off guard, these highs and lows occur everyday! There is something to be said about methodical repetition as a mother of little ones. No matter how much we attempt to create "structure", there is always something that hampers that "routine". Do you what to know what creates those diversions? It's the glitters and bubbles of life, our little kiddos.

Nothing in life is more precious and worth working so hard for each day than our children, those pieces of glitter and floating bubbles that are beautiful in their own right, but also extremely difficult to restrain and control. After all, they are children... They must be taught this restraint through love and example. I'm not saying that children should be undisciplined. I am only saying that instead of expecting our little toddlers to become exemplary citizens within a day, a week, or even a year, we need to teach those pieces of glitter and floating bubbles (who have their own personalities and God-given temperaments) with our unconditional love and respect first. At one time, we were sparkling glitter or a floating bubble in our parents' lives creating just as much havoc. What helped our parents get through those tough stages? It was our smiling and silly faces, our kisses and hugs, and those precious moments that made up for the stressful ones. For everyday that we feel overwhelmed, we only need to stop and enjoy those little ones who have become our life, our work, and our loves.

My youngest son, who is 20 months old, is beginning to repeat words, and one of his favorites is "bubble". Maybe it's partly because he loves bubble baths or that he gets a reaction from me because it's so cute in his high-pitched toddler voice. I can't help but smile when he says this word. A word so simple, but so sweet and innocent - a reflection of childhood. That 20 month old is one of the floating bubbles in my life, and always brightens my days through his silly and innocent ways.

Instead of trying to restrain or complain about those pieces of glitter and floating bubbles, it's time that we let our children be children. If we are the good examples, through our love and joy, and create an environment of structure, those little ones will develop the same life skills without losing their personalities, because who doesn't smile when they see glitter and bubbles?

Glitter DIY Project

My daughter requested a more "girly" trick or treat basket. What better way to make it girly than with pink and gold glitter, and a little bit of leopard print!

Girly Glitter

A perfect paper mache cauldron from the craft store.

Lightly sprayed white before Mod Podge and glitter applied.

The final touch: a cheetah print "duck tape" wrapped handle.

...and it begins

.....My whole lIfe I have wanted to be a mom…seriously my whole life! From the age of four I was mothering (well maybe bossing) all my friends and planning how many kids I was going to have. At the age of seven I decided that ten was the number. I was going to have ten children. I did not care how many boys or girls, I just wanted a love filled crazy big family. Then by the age of eighteen I decided I want ten and then I would adopt at least five more….. but wait why stop there? By the age of twenty I knew I wanted to start an orphanage. Then I could love a ton of kids. During this whole time I was praying like crazy for many children….never once did I think or pray for a husband. I just thought I would get married and my husband would want as many kids as me and we would live happily ever after. Blahahahaha!!!!! and a few more hahas!

 Well thanks Disney for making me believe all my dreams can come true…. My Prince Charming/husband came along when I was twenty-one and guess what? He DID want a load of children, he was loving, caring and masculine, (because I can not stand wimpy men) but he had a big secret…..no he was not a woman…..no he did not cheat one me……the big secret was he had a drug addiction. Yep, call me dumb, stupid or whatever, but I married a full blown drug addict. Did I know he was when a drug addict when we got married?….nope.. I had some red flags when dating but nothing huge.

Sooooo to make a super extreme sad story short….I divorced him. Mainly to keep our three beautiful children safe. By no means is this a post to bash drug addicts…it is a horrible sickness that consumes the person and everyone around that person.

Rosie, Ava and Cliff

Well now what… I am a single mom….this was not the plan.

So after a pity feast, a few screaming in pillow moments and an intense pep talk in the mirror, I decided...I got this. I am a single mom and I am going to be proud of it. I will be both mom and dad to my awesome kids and you know what.. we are all doing great!

My kids are my everything, I am a mom first but I am an entrepreneur too. I love business, starting them, selling them, watching them grow. I have been a professional event planner, author of Provocative Manners, owner of the Aircut and now a co-owner to Elm Grove Art. My children are my purpose in life, business is my escape, and people are my hobby. Life is to short not to have fun! So we live it up each day!

Rosie singing, Cliff reading out loud and Ava tapping dancing!

I was brought up with the mentality, God first, family second, and friends third… and that is how I live happily.

On a final note, I am writing this blog with my best friend…yes I am 31 years old and I sound like a 5 yr old…”best friend." But that is what she is… Danielle and I have know each other for over ten years but she became my best friend through my divorce…she kept me sane, no actually she slapped me out of my pity feast. Someone once said, “hard times reveal true friends.” Well she is the truest friend I have ever had. 

Selfie time...notice I do not know were to look, blahaha!

I am writing this blog in hopes that other single moms can realize…we can do it all! We can raise our children wonderfully, have happy homes and have careers that we love too. It is a challenge but I am all in!!!

Have the loveliest of days.

Kate